The Escape

What’s it worth to you?

2011-05-15T16:20:00.000-05:00

Some of you may recall my short lived escapades with a local physician a few years back… I met him in a department store. At first glance I thought he was gay. I remember thinking that I have a lot of male friends that would love to meet him. He was looking my direction and when he approached me I was thinking that he was simply searching for help in locating the correct isle for some elusive cleaning product. I was quite surprised when he introduced himself and asked me to join him later that evening for a drink.

Things progressed from there and for the few months we would see each other a few times a week. The sex was pretty good and he kept an ample selection of good imported beers, so I guess I could say I was enjoying his company. Over time I had began to develop some sort of feelings toward him. Certainly not love, but I have to admit that I had allowed myself to think of fondly and his bed had become a place of comfort and reprise. He is divorced and it was obvious that he had not gotten over his ex-wife. I don’t believe either of us had any ideas of a future together, but I felt that there was an good amount of mutual respect between us. Although it came as no big surprise when our contact began to fade away and eventually ended completely, I was annoyed that he was not mature enough to simply say we should part company.

So a few weeks ago I am sitting at the kitchen table when the home phone rings. I nearly jump out of my skin. I live in an older home and have a working rotary phone hanging on my dining room wall. It’s of the vintage avocado green variety and when it rings it can rival the best of air raid sirens. This was strange because only family and close friends have my home number and the thing rarely gets the chance to scare the bejeezus outta me. I grab my heart and the receiver at same time. It’s him. He says he has been trying to find me. I am thinking that he must not have been trying too hard because I live in the same place, drive the same car and have the same mobile number, but whatever. I am slightly intrigued, but have really moved on and there is more than enough on my plate at the moment. He goes on about how he has missed me and that he lost my mobile number and he finally found my home number via the internet… how lovely…

After a few minutes of him rambling on he asks me if I have plans for the night. I am really not feeling the situation so give him my mobile number, make a joke about him saving it this time, and blow him off for the night. It does not take long for him to start texting me. It starts out mildly enough but I cringe when I see that I have an incoming picture message. Why is it that men think women would want to gaze at a picture of their hairy balls and crooked penis? Seriously… is there some misguided website out there that advises men to routinely shock innocent woman with forth-rate porn pictures with “sent from my iphone” watermarked at the bottom?

So my internal ENGAGE IGNORING SEQUENCE warning light begins to flash like mad. What is really up here? I am pretty sure I know… he just wants sex…

(I was right… I just had no idea how right!)

It’s been a few days and I am doing an excellent job of ignoring his calls and text messages. Then it got really strange… So strange that at first I thought he was joking…

The first off-the-wall message asked me if I wanted to make some money. Well…now of course I want to make money… but in my experience offers such as these never seem to be of the legal variety. We all know that curiosity kills so I send a reply asking what, exactly, is he getting at. The reply made me take a seat: “I will give you $500 if you will spend the night with me”. Excuse me? Just who does this jerk think he is, or better yet, who does he think ‘I’ am? As I sit there with my mouth hanging open, I receive another text. It simply says “$700”.

Now I’ve had all kinds of sex in my day.. good, bad, sloppy, amazing and some that I am still trying to forget… but I have NEVER had sex that I would pay money for… especially the ridiculous amounts that he seems to be suggesting. As I stated earlier, I am having a difficult time believing that this is for real. He must just be uber-drunk and will be ashamed of himself in the morning.

No such luck kiddies! The next night the bid starts out at $1000. I send him a text that says: "are you trying to BUY me??" He replies: "does that offend you?"

Then I receive: "what will it take?? $5000?!"

This is insane! I do not reply to any of these and then the most heart stopping text of all: "We can work out $10,000"

Time to "phone a friend". I dial friend #1. Of course, #1 basically tells me I am crazy for not jumping on the offer to get paid to have sex with someone that I have already 'done the deed' with before... But it feels so... wrong. Had I not had a touch of feeling for the man in the past, I suppose its possible that I would have a different view of the situation, but in the given circumstances, I just cannot bring myself to do it. On to friend #2. Now I am offered a few different scenarios designed to set him up, tie him up , and take the money... no sex required. What a supportive set of friends I have.

To date I am still receiving random offers with the occasional " I miss you, don't you miss me?" mixed in. Now its just a laugh to see how long it will go on. Bottom line is: I know I got some good shit going on down there, I know its not 10k good, simply because I don't believe any woman's is, but its mine, and I choose not to sell it!

Copper

Paradigm Shift...

2011-05-11T12:59:00.000-05:00

When I woke up this morning I felt revived… Its funny how the feeling of victory can cause a paradigm shift.

My old view was that I had been neglected… passed over for another. See… it should have been us… Not them…

“King” and “littlegirl”… what a match…

So yea, King still calls once in a while and Copper is still weak for him… so she allows him back into her bed…but not into her heart… She knows better… Now when he prepares to leave, she does not feel the usual sting of tears forming in her eyes… She simply kisses him goodbye and smiles… She knows he may return to littlegirl for now, but her King will always come back for her…

Copper has her VICTORY…

You see… littlegirl thinks that she has the upper hand… she is with him…they are the ones in the conventional relationship… But King keeps running back to Copper every so often… If littlegirl was enough to keep his attention King would be satisfied and not need to fall into Copper’s arms to feel complete.

King will never be satisfied with one woman… Copper is wise enough to know that… but she gets her benefits without the pain… Since she has known King he has been with some woman or another in some sort of relationship… and in each relationship King has cheated on that woman with Copper…

In the past, there was nothing she wanted more than to have her own relationship with King…

With time comes wisdom… She now accepts that they have created their own form of togetherness…and that this form is the plateau… They will never go any higher than this odd combination of carnal attraction and fleeting affection… but just maybe that is exactly what they were meant to be to each other…

In this light, all time spent together is pleasure filled… they laugh and talk just like they had been together every day when in actuality it has usually been months…

They enjoy each other without the stress and distrust of real love…

Or…maybe… this is the purest and simplest form of love… Uncomplicated and free…

Copper

The fire inside

2011-05-03T22:54:00.000-05:00

A burning desire... the building up of pressure...the throbbing fever of spirit. That inner spark that can be doused to barely a flicker or fed and fueled a roaring inferno. Copper has tread the coals of both smoldering outter rims... She finds that the true art of life is in the abilty to just run with it...and don't look down.

Guarding her flame she struggles...burning dangerously hot but working diligently to stay within the safe confinement of kiln... She fears she will work the fire and turn the embers until she is so overcome by the heat that she bursts open... causing an explosion of emotion to cascade down around her an onto those near her.

Still, she is cautious when she dampers the flame for if she allows herself to drop too low... if she cools too much and her embers turn to ash... she will become cold...she will no longer be able to warm herself or heat up another...

Watching Insanity: Part One

2010-10-24T03:46:00.001-05:00

For Sarah,

You have inspired me to finally attempt to find the words to tell the story...

I love you..

My friends we are about to begin a journey. It will be a long terrible trip and every moment is true. We will go places that the sane will never venture. Friends, dear sweet friends, tonight we travel into the mind of a madman.

NIGHT ONE : WAKING UP IN HELL

It was a few years back. I was still with the Grand Asshole and we were living in the converted basement of a ranch style brick overlooking the high school. I really don't know how to say it began it just seemed to happen. We had had friends over earlier that day and had stayed up late watching TV. I was really sleepy and he has had his usual over dosage of pharmaceuticals so I helped him stumble to the bed and went around to my side. I still had my jeans on so I slipped them off onto the floor and left them in a crumpled pile. I climbed into bed and was asleep very soon after.

A few hours later I was startled awake. "I know what you fucking did bitch." His face inches from mine. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. I blinked my eyes. Once. Twice. What? He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up. "I know you had sex with them! I know you taped it, I watched you. Are you three gonna sell it? Make money making a mockery of me?" He was up on his knees on the bed. Naked. Looking at me, his eyes wild in the moonlight leaking through the curtains. I was so confused. What was it he had said. Something about sex. "What are you talking about?" "Sex with who?" "Did you have a bad dream? What's wrong with you?"

He tells me that he saw me and the friends that we just had over go into the bathroom and he watched as we proceeded to film ourselves fucking each other all twisted different ways. He was adamant that it had happened. He pointed to my jeans on the floor and shouted "see you still have your pants off!" I said of course, I mean we were in bed, I don't sleep with my pants on. We are up and fighting now and I just can't figure this out. He seems to really believe that this happened. I can't convince him it was a dream. But then it all starts go from bad to really freaking strange. He goes to the closet and picks up a shoe. A brown Stacy Adams. Then he starts talking to it. Talking to his friend named Randy actually. He says Randy is in the shoe. Like inside of the shoe. I can't believe what I am hearing. He is telling Randy how I am such the little cunt and that I have probably been having sex with of his friends. As he is talking to Randy he begins to pick at himself, like you would pick off a ball of lint. He says he has arrows on him and he has to pick them off. He says that they keep hitting him and pricking him like thorns. Here is a man standing at the foot of the bed naked, picking at nothing and holding a wing tip shoe! I must be dreaming. But I am not dreaming. I know I am not dreaming when he opens the window and the cold November air rushes through. He says the room is filling with spiders and he has to scoop them out. He looks insane. I am really scared. He is cupping his hands and going through the motions of scooping and dumping out the window. Every time I try to explain that what he is seeing is not there he pushes me back and shouts for me to stop lying. He says I am just trying to confuse him so he will forget what I did.

He goes to the window and stands there. Looking at his reflection he thinks that there is someone out in the yard looking at him. He climbs through the window with a golf club. I go down the hall and out the front door. He is swinging the club in the darkness and daring the nonexistent intruder to come near him. After much persuasion I finally get him to come inside. He sits on the couch. and I get him to put on his robe. He sees his winter coat hanging on the coat rack and goes over to it. Suddenly he yells at the red and black fabric to stop laughing at him. He jerks it from the rack and is on the floor punching the coat! He is screaming at it but I don't understand what he is saying. Something about all the faces and they are laughing.

Its dawn. He has wrestled and fought the jacket in the floor for hours. Crawling around, scooting across the floor. He has carpet burn on his knees and elbows. His fingers are raw and his knuckles are bloody. He sleeps in the corner. He has taken off his robe and wrapped it around his head.

I lay on the couch crying, hoping he will be normal when he wakes up...

to be continued...

...a quick word on comments

2010-06-29T19:36:00.000-05:00

I have been putting this off for some time now. I will now begin approving comments before the are available for public view. PLEASE continue to leave comments, as they are my motivation to continue writing.

Damn Spam!

Copper

The dentist

2010-06-29T00:06:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine had a toothache. He likes to complain a lot and had been complaining of this tooth for so long but always said he did not have the money to get it looked at. That is always his story so I was just sick of hearing it! One day we were hanging out with some other friends of ours and one of them mentioned a dentist that they had heard of that would pull a tooth for $50. He acted like he could handle the price so I chimed in and asked for his name and number. Now its around 9 pm and were all just sitting around talking. Of course he starts in about how much it hurts and could he use my phone to call. Sure why not. Its late and its Sunday night. I assumed he would get an answering service and life would move on. Not so much!

Someone answers. As i listen I begin to realize this gent is open for business! Seriously? He is two towns over but still, we're in the Bible Belt. That is unheard of in this area. He hands me my phone and asks will I drive him. Where?! To the DENTIST? Umm, I guess so. At least maybe the complaining will be over.

So we start out. He had gotten directions and i punch them into TomTom. All the while I am thinking that this just seems real odd to me. By the time we get there it around 11pm. I pull up to see one vehicle in the parking lot. A Navigator. Ok, so maybe he does well for himself. Its a bit promising.

We walk in and see a shabby looking waiting room. Mis-matched chairs around the walls. Very old, sticky looking magazines are strewn around on wobbly tables. It smells like the cinnamon fluoride paste that dentist offices are famous for.

All around the room there are photocopied lists hung:

1 tooth - $50

2 teeth - $60

3 teeth - $65

The list goes all the way through until the last line:

Full mouth - $350

I had to blink a few times for the effect to set in. Now a lady in Carolina blue BabyPhat scrubs approach us. She verifies that he is the person that they were expecting and leads us down a short hallway to a room on the left. It looks unkempt if not plain dirty. I choose the only chair in the room, other than the reclining dental contraption reserved for the patient. It was a metal framed waiting room chair with the typical light padding and grey upholstery over the seat and back rest. It vaguely occurs to me that there are bits of white and pink fuzz stuck to it. I am tired and have to work the next day so it don't even make an attempt to wipe it off, i just sit.

He takes his place as patient and its only a few seconds until the woman rushes back in with a clipboard. She asks him a few very basic questions and says sign here. He complies. I will later reason that she did not explain what he was being asked to sign because it was no doubt a waiver releasing the office from any and all liability for... well... anything.

Now it gets interesting. The dentist comes in the room like a man on a real mission.He walks up to my friend and says "Pay me." My friend complies. He darts past me to the other side of the room. He reaches behind the reclining chair and pulls out a tray of dental devices de' torture. He looks up and out into the hallway. The man yells "What are you dense? Get the hell in here!" The woman comes running in carrying the customary blue bib with chain and drapes it over my friend, not bothering to put the chain around his shoulders and attach the clip. The dentist fills a syringe from a clear vial and states "I am giving you a shot and it will hurt." In less than a heartbeat he jams it into my friend's mouth. I flinch from my post in the corner. My friend screams words that his momma would smack him for. Then... what happened next still makes me cringe.

The good doctor reaches for one of his utensils. Its a slim stainless steel thing, similar to a set of pliers. He is in my friend's mouth in a blink a hear a crack. Another, he pulls out a piece of tooth and slings it across the room. The shard bounces off the wall and hits the floor. I realize that I am staring at the piece of tooth and that my mouth is hanging open. It is a very good thing that I closed it because then came another bit and it bounced off of my cheek and onto my leg. Oh! I look up to see a what actually appears to be a madman. He is hunched over my friend, pulling and breaking off bits of tooth and throwing them over his shoulder. My friend is making noises that are about half shriek and half gag. The lady in blue is standing there with the plastic sucking device. Every few seconds she does her thing. My friend has passed out. I suppose he has gotten all the tooth out because he stops, stands up and turns to me and says " What kind of pain medication does he want?" Umm, I don't know, isn't that his job? I don't say this though. I don't say anything. But I do close my mouth because it was open again. He leaves the room as does the nurse. I sit there for just a moment before my friend wakes up moaning. The nurse returns and hands me a stack of papers and says
" Leave now. He is awake. Take him to the Walgreen's across the street."

As I rise to leave this house of horrors, my final thought was of the bits of white and pink fuzz that I noticed in the chair when we arrived.

I was sitting on strangers teeth!

I confess I removed my pants in the parking lot of the dentist office. I left them laying there. I refused to allow the particles of someones pearly whites to enter my car. My friend was unconscious. The man at the Walgreen's drive through window didn't say a word. I suppose the look on my face kept him silenced.

For weeks afterward my friend picked little scraps of tooth from the wound.

This dentist office is still open and from the looks of the parking lot during regular hours, has a thriving business.

Copper

The Amusement Park: You gotta call that love, man.

2010-06-28T23:07:00.001-05:00

When I was a little girl I would become so excited at the mention of a trip to the amusement park. I would be sitting up in the backseat of my mom's Oldsmobile smiling ear to ear and talking my parent's heads off. The would repeatedly have to tell me to sit back in the seat and be quiet. I would comply for about five minutes. I just couldn't wait. The thrill of the roller coasters and candy peanuts have since wained considerably, although I still enjoy a good wooden track with plenty of twists and turns, once in a while. The truth is that I rarely think of the amusement park these days, someone close to me recently used it to teach me a lesson I will not soon forget.

It was one of those experiences in your life that you never truly expected to have. I was like that little girl again, siting up in the back seat and loving every moment. I was in a place that I wanted to be, with someone that I wanted to be there with and all was right with the world. As the time passed I was saddened because I was painfully aware that soon, it would all have to end as abruptly as it had began. It hurt. I was in the midst of feeling sorry for myself when I was told:

" Don't spend the entire time at the amusement park crying because you will have to leave. Enjoy it for what it is while you can. If you don't, you will look up and it will all be over. You will have missed it."

He was exactly right. I may never visit that 'amusement park' again, but I rode all the rides I could and ate all the candy peanuts I could find.

I am reminded of a quote by Janice Joplin from Ball and Chain:

"I mean, if you got a cat for one day, man — I mean, if you, say, say, if you want a cat for 365 days, right — You ain't got him for 365 days, you got him for one day, man.

Well I tell you that one day, man, better be your life, man.

Because, you know, you can say, oh man, you can cry about the other 364, man, but you're gonna lose that one day, man, and that's all you've got.

You gotta call that love, man."

What else could be said?

Fin

Copper

Yellow T-Shirt

2010-05-24T20:30:00.001-05:00

I slept in it even though we had been driving all night. It smelled like him. I was wrapped in him and was surrounded by his scent. Even though his arms were around me once again, it made me feel more than close to him. It made me feel that I was in the most natural place I could be. Like I belonged in his arms with my head on his chest. I did not mean to put it in my bag when we got up later to shower. Or maybe, subconsciously, i did.

It was not until i was home unpacking that I realized i still had it. I washed it.Then after in internal struggle with myself, I wore it one more night, this time in my bed. Its as close to he may ever come to being there with me. I could still smell him faintly. I relished the comfort it provided.

I felt a little guilty as i placed it in the washing machine a second time. I should not have done that. But even though I sent him a link here, he has never visited. I wonder now what he would think if he knew. Most likely that I am crazy. But I am actually just lonely. He wore it today. I wanted reach out and touch him. I wanted to feel the material in my hands again. Of course I said nothing, did nothing. I felt a sense longing. Whats new?

Copper

Let the bodies hit the floor

2010-03-24T20:57:00.003-05:00

It was one of the first pleasent nights we have had since the weather broke. I had cleaned the dog kennel early in the day, Its pretty much an out door bedroom, in my opinion. It happens to be the same dementions as my bedroom, in fact! I put the boys out there thinking that they would enjoy the fresh air.

The people next door have regular arguments. Its quite commonplace. I usually tune them out pretty well, but that night it had gotten pretty rough. I woke to the sound of the dogs barking. It sounded like they were about to absolutly loose their minds out there. I jumped up and threw on my robe. I could hear their voices outside intermingled with growls and barking. It was after midnight.I decided I had to bring them inside. I ran out the back door barefoot. When I got to the end of the house I saw a figure in the street. He was lit pretty well by the orange-sulfer glow of the street light above him.

The figure was holding a shotgun.

It was the husband from next door. He was standing the with one hand on his hip and the other grasped the shotgun about half way down the barrell. I was frozen. I did not dare make a move until I figured out what he was up to.

I could see the wife through the front window. She loked frazzled but ok. Then she ran out the front door. She bent down and picked up a rock and threw it towards him. Was she serious? A rock? That can't end well! He pointed the barrel at her. I wanted to scream! But Copper ain't stupid. I stood my ground.

I stood my ground well over an hour. They argued. They wrestled. He slapped her. She punched him. He broke her phone. She grabbed the gun. He choked her and got it back.

Noone called the police. I waited outside.

After a while they got quieter. I had not seen the gun in a while. Soon she walked back inside. He lit a smoke and stood under the street light, and get this... he was blowing smoke rings. Just as cool and calm as you please. It gave me chills.

After flicking the butt into the street he went inside too. I stood there contemplating what to do next. I really did not want to leave my dogs out with this madman. I walked ever so softly and let them out. They ran furoiusly towards the back door. My heart was in my throat. What if he had heard. I played it cool and saundered back to the house.

Only once we were inside did I begin to shake. I was scared. Living alone don't usually bother me. I have Super Woman Syndrome. I feel like I don't need anyone. I lived through the Grand Asshole, I can take on anything. Not this night. This night I was truly scared. I needed someone to hold onto, someone to protect me. But Super Copper had to go it alone, but she did drink a beer in complete darkness at 2 am on a saturday morning.

I had layed down somewhere about 3. The dogs were right outside my bedroom door. I was feeling pretty cozy and i guess I drifted off to sleep.

BAM! BAM!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

My mind hears it before I can understand it. My body smacks against the hardwood floor! I must have hit the deck before I actually woke up. Now here I lay. Hurting. Some of you will remember I have been here before and let me tell you, the floor has not softened up a bit! I listen.

BAM! BAM!

to be continued...

Five Star Bitch

2010-03-13T20:00:00.002-05:00

Yes, thats what he said said. Someone told me today that I am a Five Star Bitch. Wow! Thanks for the compliment. That was so sweet of you, you Classy Bastard! Thing is, i believe that he actually thought I was going to take those words and feel warm and fuzzy toward him because he cared enough to utter them.

I guess in his way, he was giving me a compliment. But where are we as women if we choose to let the media and music set out boundries? He is calling me a bitch and we have not even went out yet. What a future I would have to look forward to! I think I have been there before and thank you, but no!

What would it take to be a Five Star Bitch? I have no idea why I feel the need to capitalize that title, unless its just the sheer audasity of the phrase itself, that deserves to be honored. I have heard the Yo Gotti track so I suppose we should look at the term bitch as the media portrays it to be basically another word for woman. So what about five star? I it a typical 5 of 5 rating. Well my Rate-My-Face page has sled steady at a 9.3 for many years now, but thats not 10 of 10 so im about a 4.something star to internet land. By the way Copperstiletto is NOT my ratemyface name so, if your curious, don't even try. But I guess it is supposing alot for me to think you would, so moving on.

Five star would also include such things as independance. I would have to give myself a five here. Sorry, but I am. Financial security, umm, four. And that may be pushing it some months. I do have my own house and car. Guess that stands for something. So what are the other catagories that I am missing here? Looks to me like my assesment would land me at about a Four Star Bitch. I think I a cool with that.

As for the Five Star Bitch, well as the song says, ...let me know when you meet her.

Copper

I'm happy in my car

2010-03-11T21:24:00.001-05:00

Today I noticed something about myself. There are many places I love to be, I enjoy my job, really love being at home, its nice to visit friends and family, but where I am really comfortable, is in my car. From the drivers seat of my car I feel empowered. I am safe and protected. Its funny just how comfortable I can get. I will catch myself getting to deep in the radio. Putting on a concert for the rearview mirror. Speakers blaring, its no use to try to see out of it or the back windsheild because they, along with the headlights, are bouncing to the beat with me.

If I have to make an important or stressful call to make, most of the time I do it from my car. I can muster up such bravery while surrounded by that hunk of shiny sheet metal. Any serious conversation is no worry for me while I am sitting there. Its windows, tinted the shade of a permanent marker, conceal me and I am in my safe place. Like a dog's den, it is my sanctuary. Noone can hurt me here. I have spent long hours crying in my car, trying to make sense of it all. Spent many more singing and laughing to myself.

Yes, I know its silly...

But you take 'happy' wherever you may find it.

Copper

Unattainable

2010-03-11T14:40:00.002-05:00

There are certain situations that, if awarded the opportunity, a person would truly give all they had inside of them to make that situation become a lifestyle.

Sounds almost simplistic in nature, but none the less true. You would cherish each moment in its entirety. When you have a craving from deep within your core, a permanent ache, you are consumed with desire. When you have caught fleeting glimpses of the feeling that you so long for it causes an obsession to develop. Like a drug, you are constantly seeking that initial high. The pain is almost pleasant in that it is a constant reminder of what you had and how desperately you want it to be yours.

How does it feel to know that that which you want so badly is out of your reach? Even if just slightly . Sometimes it can be so close you can taste it. Maybe your fingertips can occasionally graze the object of your beloved obsession lightly, but never able to grasp and hold on.

But somehow, you keep reaching, stretching, pushing the limits of relationships and your imagination. Your soul is restless. Hoping beyond hope that somehow, someway, you will find peace.

Copper

I'll just wear mine

2010-03-08T19:41:00.003-05:00

I was thinking about life the other night and a strange analogy occurred to me. I thought I would share it with the women here. Men you still may learn something so please continue.

Let us pretend for a moment that we live in a world far different from the what we accustomed to. Lets ponder the clothes you are wearing now. For illustrative sake we will say it is a dress. Let's also say that, during life here, that each woman is awarded one dress, just one. Now some will get ball gowns, some sun dresses, some a plain single color sheath, but each has theirs, and only theirs, to wear.

I would say that you would protect your dress from all stain and soil. You would reinforce the seams often, making them resist the stress of everyday wear and tear. You would want to keep it as clean and presentable as you could.

Now imagine, for a moment, that you get a hole torn in the dress from a struggle one day. You moved the wrong way and it just happened. It would hurt, wouldn't it? You would try to think up all sorts of ways to put it back like it was, but it can never be exactly the same. So you begin to think of was to handle the pain.

You could try to take someone elses dress, but even if you could wrestle it away from them, it would never quite fit right and you would live with a feeling of guilt from then on.

You could stitch it up alone, it would close the hold. There would always be a scar with frayed edges. The cool air would seep in occasionally to remind you not to make that move, lest the same thing repeat itself.

You could borrow bits and pieces from friends and quilt a patch for the hole. It covers well, and you feel warmer, but somewhere underneath, you will always remember it was there, it just don't bother you much anymore.

Lastly, you could strip off the dress and walk around bearing all, risking everything. It will be refreshing and fun, but eventually, you will get uncomfortable, and seek out your old comfy, warn in, fits you perfect, dress.

I think i will just be proud of my dress, open gaps, large quilted areas, jagged lines where I have tried to fix myself without help. I am proud of my rips and stains.

At least I have lived!

Copper

When I grow up

2010-03-05T19:39:00.005-05:00

I want to be Cinderella! That was my 8 year old answer to growing up. I was a spoiled child. Not rotten in need of a swift kick in the ass. I was made walk the line. I have mentioned before that I was raised in Free Will Baptist household. We were at the church every time the doors were opened. I had chores and responsibilities... but I was spoiled too. I am an adopted only child. Makes for a special kid. I was wanted, chosen and planned for. Since I was so darn special, my parents wanted to give me everything my little heart desired. It was an enchanted life. So it makes sense that to me growing up to live life like a fairytale was certainly plausible. I expected the ease and gentleness of my parents house to simply flow over into mine when adulthood dawned. Their perfect marriage, bills always paid, check book in the black. I expected to take family vacations with my children, and I expected it all to just somehow... happen.

I have had to build my life like the rest of the world. I was not ushered to the door of my home in a carriage fashioned from a pumpkin. I have learned to accept the struggles as learning experiences. The kids and I have eaten many potato chip and whatever is in the cabinet" casseroles. We have had garage sales at our Secion 8 housing apartment to buy gasoline. Over time I have been blessed to be able to establish a life for my children and I, we are doing quite well now.

This past CHRISTmas I was very proud of the spread I was able to put underneath the tree. There were actually gifts worth more than few dollars and many of them. I watched with anticipation as they tore through the paper and ribbon. They were pleased, and i was too. I felt it was one of the best CHRISTmas' we had had so far.

A few weeks ago I mentioned to my son that I felt this way, He is 14 going on 20 and sometimes the thimgs that he says really throw me for a loop. This was one of those times. He ponders what I said for only a second then says "know what mom?" "I think the best CHRISTmas' were the ones where we really didn't have much but each other." "It made everything small feel so big!"

Guess I am doing something right!

Copper

Sticky Situation

2010-03-04T18:07:00.006-05:00

This happened to me about a month ago. Leave it to me, eh? A few of my friends have heard this story in short form but i felt it was worth sharing.

If you have been here before then it should not come as a shock to you that I frequent the local adult novelty store. They have really cute jewelry there and you know I love the exotic heels they sell! (I am certain that i will be compared to a man with his "i just read those magazines for the articles" line for that one) But seriously, I don't make a B-line to the hot pink-'feels like real skin'-powerful vibration section! I like to look at the stuff in the front of the store too!

So the other day I pass by the store on the way home from work and the sign out front said:

!NEW SHIPMENT JUST ARRIVED!

PANDORA COLLECTION

CHECK IT OUT TODAY

I'm not too tired and I am curious to know what Pandora collected. I pull up and park. Of course I'm still wearing what I did to the office, black dress slacks, red sweater and black stilettos. It would have never occurred to me that I would look like anything other than a simple office worker with a touch of style. You will see why this is important as you read on.

I pick up my purse and drop my keys inside then walk in casually. To the left there are some very adorable bra and panty sets that catch my eye immediately. As begin flipping through them. Nothing I can't live without.

As I continue to walk around the store I see that the lady behind the counter is watching me quite intently. Does she think I am gonna steal something? Surely not. As I get closer to the counter she steps from behind it and approaches me. She pretty, a bit portly but carries it well. Nice smile but needs to leave the knits alone and go with a much more structured ensemble.

Then one of the strangest conversations I have ever had begins. She asks how I was doing, I reply in the typical nonchalant way. She tells me she has something that just arrived that I will love and would love amazing on me. The Pandora Collection? I was slightly excited. I follow her to the far side of the counter where she produces a small silver box. Hmm. She tells me that I could wear these to work and everyone would love them. I am thinking some sexy rhinestone earrings. Not quite.

Pasties! Nice ones, I have to give her that. They are silver and have dangling gemstones. Woulda made a killer pair of earrings!

Then I think... wait... she thinks I am a stripper! Not that its a bad gig, I hear there is plenty of money to be made. I just never tried it. But why does the think this? Is it the way I am dressed? I am not lude or inappropriate.

It concerns me that she would automatically assume anything at all about me. A good sales person asks questions about the customer before making an offer of any product. I explained to her that she was incorrect about my profession, as politely as I could, thinking that was the end of that.

But wait...

this woman does not get it!

She says, still smiling: But you DO do this on the side don't you?

Unbelievable!

Copper

The Kitchen Table

2010-03-03T20:38:00.004-05:00

... is where i sit. I think I need to pop the top on the single beer i have left. He has been chilling in the old Kelvinator down in the basement for about a week now. Its been a pleasant week at work and I really have not felt the urge to indulge. Surely due to part of me still being in Heaven. I have a feeling that there will always be a part of me that is. Like a VCR with a tape trapped inside, i replay that magical night over and over again.

The dogs are play fighting in the living room. The two huge Labs shake the floor and make the basement echo their thumps throughout the otherwise silent house. So do I consume my friend or let him wait it out? Its almost eight. But what do I have to loose. I am sure I will go to bed shorty anyway. Why not...

I noticed that alot of my friends here are gone now. Oh, there are a few still around. Sporadic posts. But who am I to talk huh? Sometimes life gets in the way of itself. Hopefully there will be a few float back in on the wings of change to report some wonderful news one day.

Their absence has left a void in my readers. But who am I here to please anyway? Its not like I will ever do this for a living. Although I would love to, I do not possess the necessary talent to be a writer. But I love to write!

I noticed that I have received a few comments from a couple of new readers. I went perusing through blogs last night and found a few I really liked. For any of you that decided to return tonight and possibly drink from the well that is Copper... WELCOME!

I mean that in the most sincere of ways. You truly are welcome here anytime. You may leave comments, rant or whatever you like. If for some reason you desire my twisted opinion on any subject, feel free to ask.

So good friends i will leave you to descend the stairs to the basement. My friend is calling...

Copper

Heaven

2010-03-02T22:17:00.005-05:00

I experienced a night in Heaven.

It was an explosion of passion that shook the world inside of me as it had never been shook before.

I was taken in by a pair of soulful eyes and a New York accent. I melted. I succumbed to the rhythm of his bittersweet swagger.

He called to me. I arrived, nervous. I had been with him before but not like this. This was much different. The air was thick with desire. He lay undressed and lay down before me. He was a beautiful man. Built like Solomon, he was almost intimidating. I approached, slipped off my dress and rose up to embrace my trembling body. His hands, Oh his hands! They slid from my shoulders to my waist to my hips.

He pulled me down beside him. Has he caressed my breast his other hand explored me. I was drenched in desire as he whispered in my ear that he was so pleased that i came to his side. As he entered me electricity coursed through my body leaving my fingertips numb. He filled me. He was so deep inside of me i am certain he touched parts of me that had never been reached before. I was consumed with pleasure as was he.

We continued this dance together for hours. Stopping to rest then beginning again with more fever than the time before. We consumed each others passion until we were strangely both empty and full.

Only then did we lay together to truly rest. My head on his strong chest, his arm around me. We lay in the silence. The cool air from the open window above felt alive on my moist nude body. This is what Heaven must feel like. It was the kind of contented calm that fills one with peace. He played in my hair until we both fell deep asleep.

In the morning he told me it felt as a dream. I concurred. I did not want it to be over, but reality rises with the morning sun. We kissed once more. I felt a tear escape my eye as I turned to leave.

We vowed to come back to each others arms again one day.

I can only hope, dream and remember ... Heaven.

I'm with stupid

2010-02-24T20:56:00.003-05:00

I love children. I really do. I would never want to say an unkind word to a child. But let me TELL you about my nephew. He is a cute kid. The round chubby type that you can't help but love but sometimes you would rather chew on aluminium foil than be in the same room a second longer. He's whiny. Cries way two often to be twelve, but as you will see, he does not really function on a twelve year old level either. I don't believe he has a learning disability, or I would not be writing this. He's just a little... peculiar.

His parents are divorced. Typical setup, mom and dad switch off days/weeks as to who gets him from school, soccer etc. So the other day he was waiting for the bus and must have been kicking rocks around in the parking lot or jamming a paper clip through an eraser because he missed the bus. No big deal right? Happens all the time. The kid is supposed to just walk over and tell a teacher, teacher calls parent, parent picks up kid. Easy. Not this kid. No he just sits around until all the buses leave then goes and sits in the playground.

Mom thinks dad picked him up. He does this sometimes. He usually calls but, no worries, its cool.

Somewhere around 11pm a police officer rolls through the school campus. Just checkin things out. Routine. He sees the kid. Kid's just sittin there smiling.

Officer: Hey kid. What are you doing here? Where are your parents?

Kid: I missed the bus. I guess they are at home.

Officer: You missed the bus and you did not tell anyone? Well that was not real smart, but lets get you home. Come on, get in. What's your name kid?

Kid: Scott.

Officer: Ok, Scott. Where do you live?

Kid: That way. (points up street)

Officer: Ok I am going to need a little more information from you. What is your address?

Kid: I don't know

Officer: You don't know your address?

Kid: No.

Officer: You have got to be kidding me! How old are you kid?!

Kid: Twelve.

Officer: You are twelve years old and you don't know your address? Do you know what street? Do you know your phone number?

Kid: No but i think i might be able to tell you how to get there if you drive. I never have to use my address so i don't know it and my momma always dials my daddy for me.

This is a true story! After about 2 hours of driving around he finally recognizes my house as being his aunts. At least that is what Officer Stamey tells me.

I drive the kid home. He continues to tell me he does not know his name or telephone number!

To the other woman...

2010-02-15T18:17:00.003-05:00

Now I may be a relentless bitch. I may be selfish, conniving, or crooked, but i am NOT a home wrecker. I have, however, found myself in numerous unfavorable positions and here is a record of one. Lets explore:

In my humble opinion, if a man an woman are married. Tied in the bonds of Holy Matrimony, in legal wedlock, then both are off limits and otherwise unattainable.

Be that as it may, if you are a unmarried person, in a committed relationship, if you, yourself, make the decision to stray, then let it be. Now you will most likely find yourself dealing with some extreme drama for a few months as you mutually decide the fate of the leftover relationship scraps, but it was your decision to make. You must handle it the best way you know how.

That said, should you find yourself in a position of being the one that picks up some stray, be aware that the owner may eventually come 'round looking for that pet. There are many ways to handle this situation. Some time ago I had the opportunity to express myself in a way that all of us 'other women' have wanted to do so badly in the past.

My apologies in advance.

The phone rings:

A private number! We all know what that means! (cue intense music)

Copper: Hello

Caller: Who is this!!??

Copper: Umm... who is this? You called me!

Caller: I want to know why your number is in my man's phone!! Who are you? What's your name? Why you be callin Tyrell fo? You better step back off my baby daddy!

Copper: Wow! Excuse me. I was unaware people actually talked like that. I am sorry to hear that it has upset you to find my number in Tyrell's phone but he obviously put it there, not me, so i believe you have the wrong person on the line.

Caller: I got the right person bitch!

Copper: Ok, let me ask you a question? Have you ever owned a dog? I'll just answer for you and say yes. So you know that with a dog you can train it and feed it and show it all kinds of love and affection and if you do all those things that dog is going to want to stay by your side. He is going to want to protect you. He will be there when everyone else is gone.

Caller: Ok and?! Whats your point?

Copper: Well, you see, if you start to neglect that dog, pay no attention to his excitement when you come home. If you start to pet other dogs, hell maybe even a cat or two in the neighborhood, then your dog is going to turn on you. As soon as he sees the front door open he is going to dart out and run away. Looks like you neglected you dog. So like I said, you got the wrong person. The problem is YOU!

Copper

Stop and Stare

2010-02-14T21:05:00.005-05:00

I have a new job. well actually i have been here about 8months now. I have been wanting to start coming back here regularly for a long time. Life gets in the way. There has been so so much. Nearly lost my house... twice! God is good! Saved it both times. The Grand Asshole is still around. Less and less though. I can finally see the plague beginning to dry up.

So new job = new characters. Lets begin.

We should set the stage first.

Curtains open to a large call center floor; a greyblue sea of carpet and cubicles. Smells of weak coffee and chicken wings. A rummage sale of people and personalities. There are so many conversations being had at once it becomes a hum of voices. You begin to pick up bits like "ma'am you have not paid anything in four months! Why do you think you don't have service?" and "...for only 14.95 per month, you can add this service today!"

So here we are, who are our players?

Random : She is just that. RANDOM. You can count on her for something out of the blue that makes you crack up. Cute girl. Quite ghetto. But probably good at heart.

Mr. Amazing : I want to taste him! Have a feeling he may be a topic to further embellish upon later but for now just know this is a prime piece of work. I have had nothing more than a few beers with him but...

Yellow Rose : I love her. We were instant friends. Very atypical for the both of us. Probably he reason we get along so well.

Madam : ... is the shit! She is freaking hilarious. Sometimes I actually have to mute customers because I am laughing so hard. She has been working here "since the earth cooled" (her words) and knows almost everything about the job. She can put someone in their place faster than anyone I have ever met.

SO there are a few. There are so so many more.

I will get there soon enough.

Copper

RoLLeR CoASteR

2009-06-27T13:19:00.003-05:00

UPDATE Again...:)

First thank you to those few that still come here to check up on me once in a while. Its really nice to know that God gives you a support system where you don't expect it

Well I am now unemployed! Well sort of. I was laid off. I have however found a new job in a completely different field (post on that later) and I start July. Been off since April. So those of you out there that Believe please pray that God lets me keep my house... Money has been tight.

Speaking of that Unemployment Compensation SUCKS!! $269 per week... 670mo. mortgage... HMMM...

So, lets see. What would you want me to tell you so that I can get back to the real writing? If I don't properly update you then most of my posts will seem like jibberish.

Well the Grand Asshole still lives with me. He is threatening to leave me if I don't marry him. HMMM X 2, wonder how that will play out... Guess we shall see together.

Men, men and men...

So many posts need to be written about this topic. Things have changed, mare questions have arose. I have many questions. From deep soul melting questions to weird, sometimes gross, sexual questions. We will have to work up to those.

I have new neighbors! They are pretty great. But last night they were up at 4 am doing something that sounded like dragging sheet metal across pavement. It was... interesting.

I have to sneak to write now because if the Grand Asshole ever caught me writing this it would be all over for me. Luckily i should have time to write due he having what I believe is a girlfriend that he spends most of his time with these days. I wish she would just go on and put it on him so he would go be with her. Wow, what a concept !

More soon

And I will be trying to read up on everyone who still comments or has recently.

Love you all

Copper

Beautiful Revisit (and for Chewy)

2009-03-02T22:20:00.003-05:00

I took this last year in my back yard. I was impressed by both the bloom and my amature photo!

Copper

Yesterday I Cried

2008-08-07T13:44:00.002-05:00

A friend shared this book with me. Below you will find a poem from this book. It seems to embody the change that has come over me lately, it expresses the feeling of a new beginning that I am so longing for and that I EXPECT!

I hope you feel it too...

Yesterday I Cried

I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes,

unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you,

I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.

I cried until my ears were hot.

I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of

soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,

I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,

and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and

disconnected my Self from myself,

only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to

me the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;

for all the things I had asked for

that had yet to show up;

for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away,

to people in circumstances,

which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;

and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;

and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;

and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,

and because I was a little girl,

and because I was a mommy who

didn't know what to do,

and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because I hurt.

I cried because I was hurt.

I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first

place,and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.

I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know

that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying,

I felt my freedom coming,

Because Yesterday,

I cried with an agenda.

(Iyanla Vanzant,from her book Yesterday I Cried:Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving)

Making my escape

2008-08-04T13:03:00.003-05:00

Been a while huh?

I have missed this place. Funny how it gives me a sense of nostalgia. A few of my friends here have been asking me why I have not been writing. I guess that I could make the usual 'work' excuses, and they would be valid, but why make excuses?

I turned 30 last month. I have found that there are quite a few things that I make excuses for that I no longer wish to excuse. I no longer wish to have these things in my life, period.

I am making my escape. I am escaping all of the pain, disrespect and aggravation that I have so long endured.

I wish that I knew a way to make it happen fast, like removing a band-aid, but I have been an enabler for so long that my compassion for (his) feeling is thwarting my efforts.

A am accepting any advice on how to end a 7 year relationship and remove him from MY home ASAP!

Be back later today!

Copper

Why 5 year olds should not drive

2008-01-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

So here is the scoop.

Right before Christmas my kids and I went out to pick up a few things at the local buck store. I just wanted some sugar, swiffer refills and a bottle of clear nail polish. We had been in the store for about 30 minutes. It had been a long day at the office and I was really ready to just go home, but my son kept pestering me to go back down the Christmas decoration isle. It was really out of character for me to give in to his begging, but I did. In retrospect, I now see it as Devine Intervention. You will see why, keep reading.

So we walk back down the isle. It takes a total of 45 seconds, max. But those 45 seconds may have saved my daughters life and my ability to walk!

We head to the check out line. You know how when you are standing in line and someone behind you starts up a a conversation? Sometimes I communicate and on occasion I give them a one-liner and turn my attention to the magazines or act as if the candy stand its the most enthralling thing that I have laid my eyes on in months. Well this time it was a young, almost frail looking pregnant woman. She makes some comment about "kids" and I reply lightly. I not really in the mood, but I humor her for the moment. When I have paid for my items, I grab my bag and my daughter's hand. My son follows suit.

We are walking through the sliding glass doors and approach the parking lot. As we emerge, I see a 80's economy van pointing towards us, just about 5 feet from the side walk. I look into the driver's seat and see a little boy in a red pullover. My first thought is that some little boy was sitting on his grampa's lap, pretending to drive. I wish I had been right. It only takes a moment for me to realize that my first thought is so not the case. About the time I come to this realization, the little boy floors it. I am thankful that the van was in reverse, because he would have flattened all three of us, but it was still not good news.

He rams into the back of my car. Hitting the trunk, and bouncing off to hit the car next to me in the bumper.

I want to pause her and explain why the 45 seconds became so important. If my son had not persuaded me to stay in the store, I would have been putting my bag into the trunk. My daughter, who never leaves my side in public, would have been hit for sure. So thank God for working through my son to intervene in the situation.

Now back to the story.

The van is now rocking against the car next to mine because of the torque that those vans have. My daughter screams, I tell my son to grab his sister and run inside and find someone.

Out of concern for the boy and other in the parking lot, I run over to the van in true hero style. I jerk open the door (unlocked of course) and slam it into park. Now I turn around, and what do I see, not just 1 boy, but 3. The red pullover boy and his two younger brothers strapped in car seats.

About this time guess who comes running out of the store? The frail looking pregnant girl. She come over to the van apologising and saying, Did it hurt your car? I say: "Why don't you check on your 3 kids. I will look at my car."

Once I get a run down from the mother, she says that she thought it was too cold to get the kids out and she just ran in to get diapers.

Get this logic: She felt that the cool weather was more of a threat than leaving 3 young kids unattended in a running vehicle with the doors unlocked!! Wonder what will happen when she is responsible for 4 kids?

WOW!!

Copper

Good News! I'm not dead!

2008-01-24T12:18:00.001-05:00

Hello everyone!

Been a while, but i wanted to drop by to say hi! I have been so very busy at work. Seems like it comes in waves. But I miss releasing my frustrations here. Lets get caught up:

I am still working at the same agency, and have not changed job titles, amazingly enough!

I am still with the same creep that I have been dating. I really wish I could report a change in status here, but alas, no knight in shining armor has appeared on my door step to save me.

The Porcelain Doll is still intact, although I am still waiting for the inevitable crack, I am becoming impatient.

My car got hit by a 5 year old driving his mom's van, while I was innocently parked in a parking lot. Yes this really happened!! And I watched. I will write the whole story soon.

I am awaiting my tax refund, I hope to get caught up on a few little bills and have money left to buy more shoes! I am feel that I am neglecting myself.

I heard from my "old friend" recently. He has yet to get married, but it is imminent. It still breaks my heart, and makes me doubt the entire concept of love, but nonetheless, I know that his decisions are right, and I am selfish. (Hell, at least I can admit it!)

The Red Heifer is now the Director of the agency that I left. So she basically took my old job. I guess she and Big Momma finally got the outcome that they were wanting! I will have to write about this one too. Its a doozy!

Well that should be enough to wet your mouth for me again, hopefully!

I know my posts have been, and may still be few and far between, but I want to thank all those who check me out when I do find time to write. Not to push, but you could subscribe to my feed so you would be alerted when I crawl out from under my rock!

Love you all!!

Copper

Priceless Information

2007-11-30T16:16:00.000-05:00

50 Things She Wishes You Knew
Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for me = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-wives and ex-husbands should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Porcelain Doll Syndrome

2007-10-25T14:10:00.000-05:00

There is a girl in the office here that I have diagnosed (recall that I have that Street PhD) with the mental illness of Porcelain Doll Syndrome.

Now before any of you start poppin' off about me being insensitive to mental illness, please recall that it is my field of work and this is all in good fun

In order to understand Porcelain Doll Syndrome we must first look at the traits of a Porcelain Doll itself. We have all seen them, sitting on a shelf, looking beautiful and staring blankly.

They are lovely to look at. Dressed nicely, perfect face and a smooth finish.

But inside they are hollow. Completely empty and void of life and personality. Fragile and so very easily broken.

This is describes this little girl so perfectly. I say little. I think that she is very close to my own age, but her actions seem to be that of high school girls, so to me she is "little". In true 'copper' fashion, I suppose I need to give her a name. How about "Dolly"? I like it.

Now to the the story:

Dolly infuriates me. Here's why:

1. She just sits there staring at me as if she believes that as long as I am in the room she has no need to speak. Her job requires her to be a good judge of character, but if you are afraid to ask questions in front of your supervisor, are you truly effective even when you don't have an audience?

2. She becomes extremely jealous if someone takes a cigarette break or goes to lunch with a certain male in the office. We all think she is secretly infatuated with this gentleman, but to hear her tell it she looks at him with disgust. But Dolly, if this is so true, why do you turn red as a beet and march to the other end of the building if you come outside and see us smoking near the fountain? But let you have a second sneak up to his office and guess who we see when we come looking? And you smile so sweetly then, as if all your little girl cares float away.

3. As her supervisor, I sometimes have to speak to her about small issues in her job performance. She will the stomp around and sulk as she had been scolded and now wants to throw a temper tantrum.

4. Dolly is a very pretty girl. If you took a picture of her and asked others about her beauty she would be given good remarks. But when you add in her personality the picture changes. She is attractive, and she knows it. I have heard rumors that she believes herself to be the most attractive of all of us here. That's a strong statement to make about yourself.

Given all of this, I was shopping at a dime store and came upon a shelf of very cute little dolls. Porcelain Dolls. Dressed in lace and flowing hair. Who do you think I was reminded of? Of course our Dolly. So I purchased one and brought it to the office. I placed the doll on a shelf in my office and there she sat for around a month.

I was sitting at my desk and there was some chatter down the hall. I tried to block it out and continue what I was doing. I had had enough and got up to close my door. As I got near I heard Dolly and another voice I did not recognize. As I peered around the corner I heard Dolly giggle and say " Yea I like Copper's dress too but it would look so much better on me, my thighs look better than hers".

Now you know ya girl Copper wanted to act a damn fool! I could not be unprofessional, I closed my door and then I saw her. I had almost forgotten she was up there. She had blended into the other little odds and ends I have collected over the years. I grabbed her down and in a fit of anger turned around and threw her at my closed door. She hit the back of it and shattered. My navy blue carpet was covered in chunk and bits of creamy white. The lacy little dress lay in the corner. A knock at the door now. I open it to see Dolly standing there. She sees the destruction in the floor in front of her.

"What happened?" she asks.

"I broke the doll" I said flatly

" Hmm, just as well" she says, "I never though it was a very pretty doll anyway"

I think I will go back to the dime store and buy a case of those little dolls. They are great alternatives to busting some little trick's face cause she crossed the line!

Copper!

The office

2007-10-25T12:58:00.000-05:00

I have had requests for more 'office updates'.

I can't lie, I miss them too!

So I will be posting more office stories

I actually need to release some tension from all the insanity here, so back to my sounding board I guess!

Thanks guys,

Copper

Hope you liked it...

2007-10-25T11:35:00.001-05:00

Well I have decided to remove my image for here. I liked it better being completely anonymous. Those of you who were "fourtunate" enough to be able put a face to Copper.... I hope you were pleased

Copper

More hilarity...

2007-10-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

...surrounding the posting of Me. To clear up any confusion. Yes this is actually me. No borrowed identities here. No it is not a fluke, I really do look like this in person. (hope that's a good thing) So now the question that I pose to you is:

Does it change anything to know the identity of Copper?

Is it more or less intriguing now?

Copper

Drunken Ramblings

2007-10-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

I am not drunk yet. I should be well on my way. I can’t seem to get myself to the desired degree of numbness. I don’t usually drink, but lately it seems that I have acquired a taste for vodka and cranberry juice. Grey Goose and I fly well together. I have had a stressful week. I have a few random revelations to share:

Tricks are expected to leave; Don’t be a trick
Always carry extra tampons.
Don’t be fooled into trust
Good friends let you act out your aggression while protecting you from harm
Money really is not everything.
I act like a modern day Geisha, women whom I have great respect for
I confuse my physical pleasure with emotional pleasure
I need a new car
I am starting to enjoy my new position at work, but there is a lot of team building to do
I need to utilize my ‘gut’ feelings more

I need another shot now, please hold…

I am in love with someone that I can never have!
I have one true friend that I am completly honest with

Life isn't all that bad, just look for the good points!

I need to drink on occasion to release these bits o crap that build up in my subconcious

Copper

Just read this...

2007-09-13T15:04:00.001-05:00

For Chewy

2007-09-13T12:32:00.001-05:00

Yes, your an angel...

(hope they fit)

Copper

Touch

2007-09-13T09:24:00.000-05:00

I have come to a realization...

It does not matter how much sex you have. If you do not have the sensation of a loving touch, it cannot be totally fulfilling.

I get so sick of hearing "You can have anyone you want, why are you worried? You should ditch the loser and move on." Well there are some huge problems with that line of thinking. One is that "have" basically translates into "up against the wall, sweatin and moanin" But its empty.

No love. No emotion.

Its unfulfilling.

Makes you crave a gentle caress. Even if its false, why can't someone at least pretend?

I would like to think that I could find both, love and passion.

But fairy tales are for little girls...

Copper

Magic Little Keys

2007-09-06T14:11:00.000-05:00

My daughter came running up to me yesterday: "Mommy, Mommy! Look! Magic keys!"

She shows me a handful of old keys. Some were of the skeleton variety and a few resembled the diary keys from my childhood. I was reminded of my "diary days" as a kid. I protected my writings and most intimate secrets with a small gold lock and a tiny key.

Now, right here in my little girl's hand was the same type of key. My moment of nostalgia was overwhelming. I could remember so vividly pouring what little soul I had into those pink pages and when that little lock went on the hasp, my secrets were safe.

Now I suppose my diary keys come in the form of passwords. I still get that sense of satisfaction when I lock up my thoughts in this computer. The difference is that now I have all of these Angels reading my diary along with me.

I love you all!

Copper

Changing of the Guards

2007-09-04T11:09:00.000-05:00

Its funny how people get upset with change. I myself don't care much for the concept. I have even bucked it altogether, in certain situations.

But if the change is completely out of your control and you are forced to let it happen, why make it more difficult than it has to be?

There are more than a few people who are not happy with me taking over here. Some thought that they were more qualified than me. Maybe so. But I was asked and I said yes. It was not my choice to be asked, it just happened.

Some feel that they can't work with me. OK, leave. It is not me saying that I cannot work with you. I have stated in an open forum that I can work with anyone here, as long as they work with me.

I am trying to do a good job at MY job. Please try to do the same.

Copper

Oh how good it feels...

2007-09-02T21:06:00.001-05:00

I am back again! Oh how I have missed this comfy place! And I have so much to tell you! This crazy whirlwind called life! The changes that have happened, the joy and oh yes, the tears. But all in good time. The most amazing change is that I have been given yet another promotion! God is good! I am not the Administrator. The top of the pyramid in my office. Hard pill to swallow, for myself and others (good story here for later)

So I hope I find all my lost friends here again. I would not blame anyone for giving up on me. I will be posting at least once per week. Possibly more, but don't hold me to anymore than that. This job is going to take some time to get my arms around so please be patient.

Wow I feel so much better now!

Copper

Liar, Liar

2007-06-25T14:39:00.000-05:00

Why lie to me? I have a friend that I had ordered some products from. Like 4 weeks ago. She told me that she had sent the order off and I could expect my stuff soon. I was asking around the office and found out that she really did not place the order until last week. The whole time, she had been lying to me. The worst part is that she told the other people that ordered from her the truth. THEY knew not to be expecting anything. She just keeps on with her fairy tale about the truck being late, and the company messing up the order, etc.

My question is:

Since I know for certain that she is still lying to me, do I call her on it? Or do I let it slide and just not buy anything from her again? We used to be close friends. We are no where near as close as we used to be, but I still considered us to be on a level of truth and trust. I think its pretty foul to just take my money, use it on your bills, and send the product order off when you get your paycheck 2 weeks later.

What do you think?

Copper

Work Weak

2007-06-12T08:25:00.000-05:00

I'm still here guys. Just buried underneath a load of paperwork. Work has been SO hectic. I had to work all weekend too. So I have not had a day off in two and a half weeks. I need rest. When I try to rest, my cell phone rings and makes more work. Heaven forbid I miss a call and someone has to leave a voice mail. You would thin the world was coming to an end. I am still glad that I made the change to this department, the money is EXCELLENT and I have been blessed to have the opportunity to learn about the procedures, but wow, it becomes overwhelming sometimes.

I have been missing reading every ones posts. I will get up to speed as soon as I can catch a break here.

I want to say a formal hello to everyone who let themselves be known to me, and do not typically comment. I appreciate each of you, thank you for taking the time out to read my thoughts. If you see something that you would like to comment on, please feel free!

I will be posting a little more often this week, so keep checking with me! I miss you guys! I'll be back soon.

An 80's baby

2007-05-31T09:44:00.000-05:00

I had a fun childhood. Kids today are too tied into technical, electronic, and expensive interests. What ever happened getting out of school for the summer and spending almost all day outside. We were either able or forced to entertain ourselves with limited supplies.

What ever happened to games like:

Kick the Can

Hide and Seek

Red Rover, Red Rover

H.O.R.S.E. or

Mother May I?

What about the cartoons? There were no super computer-animated graphics, just hand drawn wholesome characters. Do you remember:

The Smurfs

The MonchiChi's

Rainbow Brite

Jem and the Misfits

Sailor Moon

He-Man

Then I became a teenager. Late 80's rap, rock and pop:

Too Short

Run DMC

Cindy Lauper

Madonna

Toto

Prince

Easy-E

Michael Jackson

Kix

Joan Jett

Lita Ford

Alice Cooper

I had the big hair, the off the shoulder ripped tees, torn acid washed jeans. Wore hot pink lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow. I was cool! no, I was Rad!

The 80's: A happy time to live.

Falling Down

2007-05-29T12:17:00.000-05:00

Friday was painful. There is no real way to tell you about this and depict the scenario in real-life quality, but I will give it a try:

As you well know, the last few weeks have been exhausting for me. By the end last week, the kids, the old man and work had all taken their toll on my body and my sanity. So, it was not surprising to me that when I got home on Friday, to an empty house, I laid on my bed with the intentions of consuming a bit of alcohol and watching CSI.

It all began well. Vodka and Cranberry, two ice cubes, short glass. Fresh pack of smokes and the remote. The episode of CSI that was coming on I had seen previously. It usually makes no difference because Warrick keeps my interest. But this time even he could not keep me awake. I fell into a light comfy slumber. A little while later I am startled awake by knocking at the front door. I set up straight and swing my legs around, preparing obviously, to see who has came to visit.

At this point, I have no idea that I have been resting in a position that evidently cut all circulation off to my left leg, from the hip down. Now I am not talking about the "falling asleep" that still allows you the warning tingle, you know the one that says " Hey! Thought ya might wanna know that I am NOT fully functional right now!" See I didn't get the message. My leg was asleep to the point of absolutely no feeling, from the hip down.

I jump up, take one step and hit the hardwood floor ~ HARD ~ with my left ass cheek. The knocking continues. I pull myself up, still unsure of what the hell just happened, and fall again! Same cheek, this time adding a 3inch scrape to my ass. Now I begin to crawl... In pain. I get to the door, whoever was there has now gone and I lay against the wall, breathing heavily.

THE AFTERMATH

Bruises on both elbows

Football size bruise in my left thigh

Long scrape on my ass cheek

Carpet burns on both knees

Still tired...

Copper

Are you peeking?

2007-05-29T09:35:00.000-05:00

I was inspired by Bart's last post (http://www.bartraeke.com/2007/05/roll-call.html). I HAVE a stat counter and just in the last few weeks, have payed attention to all of the information that it can provide. What I have found is that this information is really more irritating than helpful! I get all kinds of useless information. Like the operating systems of the users that visit this place. Why do I need to know that? What am I ever gonna do with the knowledge of the screen resolution that you guys have? It DOES tell me the country and region that people are logging on from. But that about as exciting as it gets. SO...

If I could possibly be indulged for a moment, could any of the readers that I don't know exist let me be aware of you? If you don't have a blogger account, you can post an anonymous comment and at least let me know WHY I interest you... In fact, I would kind of like to know that from everybody "Why do I intrigue you all enough to continue to read me?"

I most definitely am not posting this to scare anyone off!! PLEASE, PLEASE don't go away! I am just curious as to who and why..

So, thank you Bart, for inspiring me. Hope you don't mind. You are always a great read!!

Now everyone play the game with me, please..

Copper

A reference, an apology, and a dream

2007-05-25T11:20:00.000-05:00

Some of you many remember this post:

http://copperstiletto.blogspot.com/2007/02/holy-matri-what-hell.html

I was hurt and yes a little angry. But I suppose that I also over-reacted. This a very special kind of man and I owe him an apology. He has found love, and even above that, he is doing what is right for his family. She is good woman and mother. I am certain that she will make him happy. I have no right to be jealous or angry. But I do envy her!

But, I do not have to, and would not, release my dream of happiness. I have said that I always want what I cannot have. But I am allowed to dream whatever I please...

The Pisser

2007-05-24T12:12:00.000-05:00

We have three restrooms at my office. All of them uni-sex. Personally, I try to avoid the use of ANY public restrooms, including the ones at work. Of course, during a 9 to 10 hour day, I find myself needing to make use of the facilities at least once. Now comes the question: Which restroom is safest today? Sounds silly, huh? Well not when you take all the players involved into consideration...

1. The janitor: He is supposed to keep things clean and tidy, right? Well, when you smell of cheap wine and Beech-Nut (chewing tobacco), it is hard to leave the essence of "clean" in the air. So its best to "go" before he gets started on the restrooms for the day

2. The shitty secretary: Nice lady, got to love her.. except that every day around 2:00, you know to avoid the restroom beside the fax machine. In fact, best practice would be to make sure and send ALL faxes for the day, before lunch. The aroma tends to bleed through the door frame and contaminate the entire fax/copy room area

3. Mr. Pissy: Its simple, he works Monday, Wednesday and Friday. His office is near the main conference room restroom and he can't aim. Nuf' said.

4: Various Vagrants: We get a lot of drop in "potty dancers" that come to the front desk asking to use the restroom. They are sent to one in the lobby. But odds are that they spend much more time "shootin up or smokin up" than "zipping up". We have found their various articles and instruments, left behind in their haste. It's great!

So where does all this leave me? Balancing on my toes so that my ass is at least 2 inches away from the seat, trying to pee into the hole in the center, holding my clothes from touching the floor. Breathing as few breaths as possible and trying desperately not to black out.

Good times!!

My secrets

2007-05-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

Everyone here already knows that I am a huge fan of http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. I was reading this weeks entrys and the very first one reminded me of a secret of my own. SO.. I decided to make a list of some of my secrets, that if I had time, I would make postcards for and mail in myself. I wonder if this will be embarrasing or liberating, but here goes:

Since my grandfather passed away, every time I see an old man I have the urge to run up and hug him. Usually I just try not to cry.

I am embarrased that I had my first child at 15

I blame myself for my second childs disability, I feel like my body failed her

I am never satisfied

I get mad when I see happy couples, I thought that we all should be able to have that

I am jealous of Barbie, she has everything that I want

When I get stressed, I have an alternate life that I revert to in my subconcious

I happen to LOVE the fact that I am adopted and it makes me mad when people say

"Oh, thats so sad!"

I compare myself to almost every woman I meet.

..... thats enough for now

Missing

2007-05-22T13:56:00.000-05:00

Immature? (hurt feelings)

2007-05-22T12:42:00.000-05:00

I wish that every man that has ever looked at me and said that I was immature could walk around in my 4inch heels for a day! I hate letting ANYONE down! But sometimes it is inevitable! I try very hard to please everyone. I know it can't be done, but I still try! I have many people that are in positions to ask certain things of me. I want to please each and everyone of them, but when circumstances arise that make me choose one person's needs over the other, someone ALWAYS ends up disappointed. I guess that I do not always make the right choice, but in most cases I don't actually see a RIGHT choice, just choices. I was told today that I am blind even though I walk around with my eyes open. This was from someone that I have much respect for and I wish had a little for me. I don't understand why I want this person to be pleased with me, cause the truth is that I feel if I ever was able to, it would be short lived.

More from Red Heifer and Big Momma

2007-05-22T10:06:00.000-05:00

I got an email from Tracie:

Hey listen to this BULL SHIT........
well this week Trena asked Rob to work on every other weekend for her at a site because she doesn't have staff and he is looking for a 2nd job every other weekend and PRN on Mondays... Well he said ok that he would and did his training this week after he got off work and now she (Big Momma) changed the policy and now it states that no one that is related to anyone can work here.....
SHE IS A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so tried of this shit i can scream....
and mom is so stressed out she can cry....
i am glad someone can get out of this HELL hole.....
well i had to get out somewhere and you were the lucky one.....
Sorry it had to be you!!!!!
Hope you have a great day!!!
Love ya girl!!!!
Tracie

Then I got this one:

girl there is so much shit going on here it isn't funny you better be glad you got out of here when you did....
Remember me telling you she change that one policy that family couldn't work here....
well now she has changed the dress code policy... i can't wear my flip flops and if you were here you couldn't wear your high heels....
and a lot of talk about letting BITCH come back....
if so i am LEAVING... if i don't have a job oh well i will find one....
Do you have any every other weekend job openings?????
If so let me know....
my mom is so stressed out she is about to have a break down....
oh and i can't wear basically all my clothes she went through there and wrote basically everything i wear down....
Girl, i am about to scream......
e-mail me back
Tracie

I find it odd that NOW she decides that Nepotism is a real issue. Its hilarious that when questioned about her Lil Heifer daughter working there she said that they were "grandfathered" in since they were both there before the new policy was written. By the way, Lil' Heifer is now working back at the office that she was "banned" (ha) from. Big surprise!

The best part is that I have filed a grievance about my last paycheck. So Big Momma got a Big Shock coming to her when she gets a call from the State Department of Labor.

I do hope that Tracie finds something to save her from the nightmare she is having to endure!

Copper

To quote emimem

2007-05-21T09:25:00.000-05:00

......but in this industry I'm the cause of a lot of envy,

so when i am not put on this list the shit does not offend me.

Thats why you see me walk around like nothings bothering me.

Even though half you people got a fuckin problem with me.

You hate it but you know respect you've got to give me....

I hope this survey is over soon!

I also hope all this animosity at work dies down soon!!

Don't hate me for doing my job, its what I am here for. Don't sweat what I do, just do YOU!!

Inspect This!!!!

2007-05-18T09:34:00.000-05:00

We are getting ready for inspection at the office. That's why I have not been too active lately. Seems like all efforts get redirected to WORK! I have not been able to go tan, give myself a manicure, take the dog to the groomers, any of that. The kids don't understand why mom stays on the phone giving orders all evening, after doing the same thing at the office for 8 hours! I am so over it!! If the next two weeks go off without a hitch it will all be worth it though!! More later...

Copper

Isn't it ironic?

2007-05-10T08:45:00.000-05:00

Irony follows me. Usually its laughable, sometimes not. But I was in a reflective mood, so I googled "irony". I liked these quotes and thought I would share them:

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.”

Erica Jong

“The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.”

Robert A. Heinlein

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch”

Jack Nicholson

“"Why does everyone run toward a blood curdling scream? It is contrary to all sense."

Terry Pratchett

“A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fucked!”

Don Williams Jr.

Faster, Baby, Faster!

2007-05-09T14:06:00.000-05:00

TOP 10 REASONS WHY SEX AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA

10. Short Stuff: According to the relativistic theory of length contraction, this is an inevitable consequence of having sex at the speed of light. An average penis of length 13cm traveling at 99% the speed of light will contract down to a length of only 1.8cm (this is about the same length as the smallest functional penis officially recorded). At the speed of light, length contraction leads to an interesting situation in which the penis seems to have no length at all, but is still managing to have sex somehow. (Sounds like a few past hook-ups, and it was NOT due to contraction!)

9. Da black hole: At the speed of light, relativity also predicts that the penis will essentially become a black hole. When its owner realises that his penis has turned into a black hole, he will become profoundly depressed and overcome by a feeling of loss. John Bobbitt would understand; but Mr Bobbitt had his penis sewn back on, whereas a penis lost to a black hole is a penis lost forever.

8. A ghost of your former self: If the penis is not lost to a black hole, it will be lost to the uncaring force of friction. A penis traveling in and out of a vagina at close to the speed of light will be subjected to enormous resistance. Since the resistance is co-related to speed, this will heat up the penis enormously. The temperature of the resulting internal environment will be so high that the penis molecules will actually undergo a phase transition into a gas, vaporising the penis almost instantaneously.

7. Flaming spew: In the unlikely event that a vaporised penis can perform ejaculation, then the semen will create enormous air resistance, burst into flames almost instantaneously, and generate enormous impact forces. These forces will be sufficient to pierce a small hole straight through a woman's lower torso, just like a speeding bullet, only incinerating the surrounding tissue as it passes through.

6. Dead Fu**: Unfortunately, the woman will probably be dead before ejaculation anyway. According to the relativistic theory of time dilation, then if the man is to actually thrust in and out at a speed close to the speed of light, then from his point of view, his partner will be ageing extremely quickly, and will be long dead before he ejaculates. Legally, he will be committing necrophilia. (eww)

5. Money shot: Dead fu**, flaming spew and penile black hole formation are all very dramatic, but unfortunately they don't translate well onto the big screen. In reality, sex would only last for a fraction of a second, and would appear as a sort of muddy grayish white smudge, since the eye merges all images together at such high speeds. This is probably not visually appealing enough to make a porn-at-the-speed-of-light series out of.

4. Religious values: Certain branches of Christianity would view porn-at-the-speed-of-light immoral anyway. It's in the Bible.

3. Property damage: A penis is made up of a collection of charged molecules, and accelerating charged molecules emit radiation. To accelerate charged penis molecules up to the speed of light in a single thrust requires crazy speeds. This would produce a frequency and intensity of radiation similar to that produced by a small nuclear explosion. It may be worth hiring out a hotel room if you don't want your own room obliterated.

2. Big Bang Theory: As a penis works up to the speed of light, it will inevitably break the sound barrier, producing deafening sonic booms with every inward and outward thrust. If the neighbours haven’t already been woken by your moaning, they will be now. Or then again maybe not, because they will be conveniently deafened and unable to hear you.

1. Excessive dietary requirements: The amount of energy needed to get an average

person up to 99% the speed of light for a single inward thrust is outrageous. It is equivalent to the amount of energy gained by consuming 78 trillion crackers. But 78 trillion crackers will increase an average person’s mass by approximately 1.2 trillion kilograms, requiring them to eat even more crackers just to speed up this additional load up to the speed of light. Nine out of ten nutritionists may recommend whole grains, but this is slightly more than the recommended daily intake.

In conclusion, better try the "slow poke"!!!

Copper

Can you ever forgive me?

2007-05-08T13:45:00.000-05:00

I have been gone for an eternity I know. I did not mean to leave with no notice, but sometimes things happen that are out of our control.

That said, I want to applogise for leaving David hanging. I was scheduled to judge the blog awards last week and with all the equipment trouble that I have been having, I was never able to tell him I was unable to log on. So David, I am truly sorry!

Work is going well. Its been very busy here, which I guess is a good thing. I have job security that way.

The old man is pressuring me to tie the knot. I will have to make a detailed post for you about this one, its amazing. I don't understand why he wants to marry me so bad. We don't even like each other!

I got drunk and went bowling this weekend. Well actually, I went bowling and was feeling so self conscious about my skills that I decided to try and dull the embarrassment of gutter balls, by knockin back way too many. Then when I had finally decided that I had had enough, here comes the owner of the place (I think he thought my ass was cute) comes up, bottle in hand, and says "Ya gotta try this sweetie, just got 'em in today. They are new, you'll love it" I did. I drank 4 of them. Then walked home. Left the car at the bowling alley. Who needed it? I was feelin too good! I have also decided that I like to bowl....

So sorry that this has been so short, but I am back up and runnin. I might even post again later today!

Copper

TGIF!

2007-04-27T09:19:00.000-05:00

I am so freakin happy that it is Friday! Its a beautiful day outside. I have a few things that I can do as an excuse to get out of the office and I am thinking that I will take advantage of that. I do have a slight headache/toothache, not sure which really. But its cool, cause I am finished for the week. The old man got pissed at me this morning cause he wanted me to be late today. We argued about it last night, but he is selfish and does not understand true responsibility. So he will just have to be mad. I seriously don't care! He can just get glad in the same pants he got mad in! It wouldn't bother me if he simply collected his belongings and moved on. I talked to his mother yesterday. She confirmed my fears that if he was put out, she would not let him move back in with her. This makes me feel a little sorry for his dumb ass.

I would love to go outside and smoke a cigarette. But is early. Not happening yet. I would love to drive back home and lay in the sun in the back yard. This probably won't happen at all, cause by the time I get home, all the sunnin will be over for the day. Guess I could try a gas station tannin bed, huh? NEVER AGAIN. I still have nightmares involving bright lights and latex.

So everyone have a great weekend, I'll see you on Monday. Oh and I believe that I will be judging AussieJourno's blog awards next week, so the posts may be slow, we'll see.

Copper

Welcome to the black parade

2007-04-26T15:00:00.000-05:00

Why you so mad?

2007-04-26T10:21:00.000-05:00

Why is it that we hold grudges? Against the chic that your old man slept with, the guy that beat you out of the position at work or even the teacher that made you cry in middle school. I am really bad about this. I am not sure that "Forgive and Forget" is in me. I make an honest effort, I really do, but it seems that I get led back anger as soon as those old memories pop in for a visit. My mind likes to torment itself, re-living painful times, remembering detailed conversations, eventually resulting in me getting pissed off all over again. When I was younger, this used to get me into a lot of trouble. I would literally go out looking for the the person that I felt had wronged me, vowing to damage them or their life in some way. I got into way too many altercations, thankfully, I have avoided a criminal record. But now, post-children, I just keep all that anger locked up. Unhealthy, but extremely hard to get over. Its funny though, almost as fast as I stopped trying to "repay the favor" myself, I realized that what goes around, DOES come back around. (Wow, i think i just plagiarized Justin Timberlake, hope HE don't hold a grudge!)

Blogs to make you think

2007-04-26T09:09:00.000-05:00

I was informed this morning that my blog makes my dear friend David McMahon think. That sentence sounds odd to me. It is flattering to know that my writing is more than words. I am extremely honored. I do believe that writing this blog has been one of the most rewarding things that I have undertaken in life.

With this honor comes a challenge: To in turn link to 5 blogs that make ME think.

After much reading and thought, I have decided upon the following blogs:

http://chewy-myblog.blogspot.com/ I spend alot of time looking at her creations. They draw you in.

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/ This is an extremely popular blog. I re-read the rules and there are no exclusions listed, so when it comes to making me think, this site is guaranteed.

http://inconstantdirective.blogspot.com/ The mad doctor will always get the mind to twist.

http://open-and-explore.blogspot.com/ Keeps me updated on live outside the United States.

http://adarkershadeofblack.blogspot.com/ Gives me at look at life from a different perspective. A long time favorite.

Finally, Here is the link to David's Blog. He is the makes us all think!! Thank you David, for the opportunity!

authorblog: Gold, Frankincense And Mur

The Shower

2007-04-24T08:05:00.000-05:00

The only circumstances that a man and a woman should be in a shower together is for sexual purposes. Any other time, its just a nightmare! Don't get me wrong, shower sex is great, but if the intent is to "get clean" not "get off"' so "get outta my way!"

Standing in the back of the shower, covered in suds, freezing, while a man stands there blocking all the water, staring at me and smiling (at least HE'S enjoying this), is NEVER what I had planned. It starts innocently enough. I get into the shower. Get my hair wet and all lathered up. I start to rinse the shampoo out and hear the bathroom door open. So he comes in and starts to chat, and its never about anything either. This should tip me off, but I keep talking none the less. I turn to face the water and wash the day's Maybelline from my eyes, and feel this sudden rush of cold. Like standing in front of a ice cream freezer naked, (just trust me on this one, I know this sensation). I intantly know that I have been invaded. I am also instantly pissed off. So of course, he grumbles, its cold back here, so I let him get wet and its all down hill from here. Soap drying to my body. Conditioner dripping down my back. I just let him finish.

As he smiles at me he has no clue that I just washed my ass with that body puff he is scrubbing his face with... maybe there is a reason to smile after all!

Happy Single Showering !!!

Copper

So judgemental!

2007-04-18T09:38:00.000-05:00

I judge people. I its not intentional most of the time. Its almost a reflex. I read a cute blog of a friend of that talked about the natural urge to look at the grocery carts of the people in line before you. Then make small judgements about their purchases. I look at my own cart and think "damn if someone is paying attention, they must think I'm nuts!" Take this sample receipt that I found in my purse:

120z sour cream

10ct magnum condoms

toilet bowl brush

blue ice tray (4)

lg breed canine leash/woven

5lb Dixie crystals cane sugar

6x4 wire screening

1ct electrical tape

If I found this receipt and drew my own conclusions, I would think the person was into some serious S&M, in reality, I was repairing my dog lot and an X-box controller, making baked potatoes for supper and sweet tea to go with it. The condoms, well a girl gotta do something after all that to unwind!

That said, its not just grocery carts. I look at people and try to figure them out too. A bad habit. Its unfair to others, I know, but at least I keep my opinions to myself. Good thing too. Because I try to figure out stuff like: who are they sleeping with, who are they trying to sleep with? Would I eat from their kitchen, (another blog in itself), do they have pets, are the secretly emo? Is that her real hair? nails? tits? Is that what I think it is in his pants, and if it is does he have a ring on his left hand? A tan line where the ring is supposed to go, but he saw me checkin him out, and hid the ring and attempted to hide something else in his pants?

The list just goes on and on. Sometimes I just pull up a bench to the world and watch, laugh and wonder...

Copper

I am such a naughty mood!

2007-04-17T13:35:00.000-05:00

Guess its best I just keep my mouth shut today. But a picture really does say 1000 words!

Obsess Much?

2007-04-16T13:09:00.000-05:00

I have been "tagged". I am now faced with the task of listing five things that I am obsessed with.

Dictionary.com defined obsession as:

ob·ses·sion –noun
1. the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.
4. the act of obsessing.

So if I use 1. as my parameters, this task now graduates to a challenge. But lets begin.

1. My Appearance ~ This is a biggie, and yes it does dominate my thoughts. I was raised to be this way. I do not know any better. On my indecisive days, I will change outfits 2 or 3 times before leaving the house. I am constantly afraid that the one day that I go out looking like "who shot John" that I will just happen to run into someone of the presidency level. Insane notion, I know. But nonetheless dominate. Luckily, I love my body and the way that I look. Not to sound conceited, I am a far cry from perfection, but I am pleased.

2. Finances ~ I constantly re-evaluate my financial situation. I do not like the feeling of owing money to anyone.

3. My children's safety ~ If I could cage them in the cellar and home school them I would. Just today there was another shooting on school grounds. A college campus this time. The world is a scary place.

4. Shoes ~ Not a joke. I LOVE shoes. It is the my "one thing". Women know what I mean. Each of us have made this statement: I know I shouldn't spend money on it, but its my "one thing" that I myself, and I deserve it! So this is mine. Even if I don't buy anything I still like to look.

5. This blog ~ I love doing this. It really allows me an outlet for release. Its non-judgemental. But I get feedback and its very important to me. I have always wanted to be a writer, but that's not going to happen, so this is my supplement. I can act a fool if I want. Be serious. Whatever, its all accepted and even if nobody ever read it, at least it found its way out of my system.

Hey, thanks Lady_T, that was fun!

There ya go,

Copper

Love me when I'm gone

2007-04-13T15:08:00.000-05:00

Today I learned that while I was away, I remained on Aussiejourno's Top Blog List. I am astonished. So thanks to everyone who has stuck with me, and thanks to all of the new readers that I am getting. I promise to try to stay entertaining while maintaining true Copper style!!

HOT SEX?

2007-04-13T09:47:00.000-05:00

I love to lay in tanning beds. I know that there are many risks involved, but nothing is good for you in excess. So last night, I set out after work to have my body baked for 20 minutes. I typically go to one of the local tanning parlors. Its a nice atmosphere. Palm trees painted on the walls. The smell of coconut and Pine-Sol fill the air in a sweet and sour mix that is somehow comforting. When I tan here its a refreshing experience. The cost per visit is around $4.50. I have always felt that it is worth it, a small price to pay for relaxation and the added benefit of glowing skin.

When I arrived at my usual spot, I was alarmed at the amount of cars in the parking lot. The place does not make appointments, first come first serve. I walk in, look around and my spirits drop. There are 9 people in the waiting room. This is a 5 bed facility and all are currently occupied. I inquire about my wait time: "It'll be 'bout 45 minutes, hon. Just take a seat." I'm not feelin it. I get in my car to leave. Dammit, now what? In was really looking forward to that. Then I remembered a conversation that I had with a friend of a friend:

HER: Ooh, I love your tan. Where do you go?

ME: Electric Sun, I like it there. Have you ever been?

HER: Well yea. A long time ago, but I got sick of paying all that money when I can go to the BP Gas Station and tan for $2.

ME: Are the beds the same? Do they work as well?

HER: Oh yea, their the exact same beds. Its the only place I will go.

So here I am, thinking about this. What do I have to loose? At least I will get to tan. So I pull up and park at the gas station. This feels a little weird. I go up the the counter and ask the lady about the tanning beds. She smells of cheese doodles and coffee. This should have been a warning sign. I pay the lady her two bucks and am lead behind a set of beer coolers two bed #2 of 3 possible beds. I go in.

The floor is the old plastic tile and most are popping up and peeling. There is a fan in the corner that has about an inch of dust on the blades and long hairs of all colors, that have been sucked in, are blowing out towards me. I tentatively begin to dis-robe. Carefully placing my clothes in the lawn chair that has been provided. For my "comfort" I presume. I'd have to be out of my mind to allow my ass to touch this chair! I now notice the bed itself. The bottom half looks decent. The stickers are peeling from the sides, and there are tiny cracks along the edges of the plexiglass bottom. But still usable, i guess.

Then i raise the top. I swear this is no joke:

THERE IS A USED CONDOM STUCK BETWEEN THE PLEXIGLASS TOP AND THE TANNING BULBS!!

I gagged!! It couldn't have been there long. It was not melted, I guess latex would melt under those conditions, never tried.

How did this get there? Why was it left? As a joke? (not funny) Accidental? (no way) So needless to say, I re-dress. I don't even stop by the counter to ask for my money back or report the situation. (Which I should have done, and now feel a bit guilty about)

Guess you get what you pay for!

Copper

I majored in Street 101

2007-04-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

Street 101

Funny how many jobs require a degree in order to even get an interview. Your degree does not even have to be in a relevant field. You could major in journalism, and apply for a position in a human services field. It wouldn’t matter, you would at least pull a meeting. But if you did not finish and actually earn a degree, you are left with a possible “experience in lieu of degree” interview. Would it not be wonderful if all of the life experiences that you have had could be rolled over into college credit? With that said I present to you:

Copper Street University

Offering the following courses:

Hood Rat-ology
In this course you will learn how to classify all the females that you will encounter in life. We will cover bitches and hoes, strawberries and heads. You will see, first hand, who can be detrimental to your lifestyle and who you can use to make a come-up. Ladies, you especially want to takes this class so you can learn who your real girls are and if you learn nothing else in this class, you will know that you CAN’T TRUST BITCHES.

Side Hustle 101
Here you will learn that anything can be bought or sold. You just have to find the right person and price. You CAN make money and SHOULD make money. If you see a good deal, take it. There will always be someone to push it off on down the road.

Project Carpentry
This is one I’ve learned and regularly put into use. You can fix anything. Believe that. Look around. That hole in the drywall, hang a picture over it. The drawer in the kitchen that won’t slide right? Just jerk that thing out and let the kids play with it on the stoop, you don’t have to deal with it then. See how easy this is? The best thing is once you master carpentry, you automatically know Project Electronics. Batteries get low ~ toss ‘em in the freezer, they will work again. Can’t get the local channel on the TV? Wrap the “rabbit ear antennas” with tin foil. Perfect clarity as long as you stand to the left of the couch and the microwave door is left partially open.

Street Vocab
What do they mean sellin “cookies?” or “chicken?” Straight drop what? Who’s a head? How many “cousins” can one man have? Why would you toss a perfectly good pair of sneakers way up there? And other questions that you may have asked yourself. I had a great professor lined up to teach this class, he majored in Ghetto Pharmaceuticals, but he is currently unavailable. So this class will have to be put on hold for 5 to 10, but at 30% with good time…. Uh we better just hold off on this one.

Copper

I love you Tracie

2007-04-11T13:49:00.000-05:00

Ok yall, not 5 min after my last post my friend Tracie calls to see if I am ok and offered to let me borrow her husband and a sledge hammer to fix my problem. Although I have declined her generous offer, she made me feel better and thats what counts. Its nice to know that someone cares and is looking out for you. Even if its just idle threats, created for our amusement, it helped my mood.

So thanks Tracie!! You mean the world to me !

Depressed today

2007-04-11T13:09:00.000-05:00

A fight at home before work with the old man

Foot bruised, throat swollen and brusied, ego bruised worse. Hate feeling defeated!!

Sorry I haven't been up-beat last few posts...

Copper

Action to Reaction

2007-04-10T09:42:00.000-05:00

If I was to get philosophical for a moment, would you bare with me? I am in an odd place today. Almost as if I were outside, looking in on myself and, well life, in general. I wonder what makes people do the things that they do. Obviously, and all you psych majors out there can correct me if I have forgotten some key element here, everything the we do is seeking a reaction of some sort. Whether good or bad, still we are seeking a reaction. The way that we dress, speak, look at others, etc. All seeking reactions. Sometimes we do things just to annoy or anger someone, we even seek revenge in certain situations.

Reactions… so what reactions am I seeking? I want my children to become strong Christian adults, with will to succeed. I want my dog to be bigger and stronger than all the others on the block. I want my car to smell like Blunt Power every day of the week. www.bluntpower.com, for all those curious. When I get dressed each day, I am seeking the reaction of “damn that is one tough bitch”! I suppose that if I had to make a list of wants and needs and then balance them with my actions, I would find that I am focused on myself most often. I like to be the center of attention. I enjoy competition with other females. I assume that stems from my Beauty Queen days, but I thrive on it, none the less.

But that’s all small scale. What about the big picture? What are my large ticket ‘items of life’? I am doing this on the fly, but let me try to wrap my mind around this:

Copper’s List of “Life Items Needed”

A house of my own, in my name only, using only my credit. DONE
A job where I feel valued and the compensation is enough to get me out of this living month to month rut. IN PROGRESS
A car that does not screech when I start it in cold weather and the A/C works. Guess this one will have to wait, due to the fulfillment of #1. NOT YET
A man who will respect me for who I am and love me, including all of my flaws, unconditionally. This man will also have to have an unfaltering commitment to me, and me only. This is probably the most far fetched item on the list, due to the fact that I am unsure that this person even exists. I suppose that it is possible, I may have even met this person on the street and maybe spoken a kind word or friendly hello. But how do I ever find my way back to him? This one will have to be left up to God to orchestrate. Heaven knows I’ve had no luck on my own! NOT YET/(even possible?)
My children to not deposit me in a Nursing Home in my old age. I am attempting to combat this one by giving them all the love, attention and affection as possible, in hopes that I will receive the same care when Alzheimer’s kicks in. IN PROGRESS

So are my actions actually seeking my desired reactions? Or am I completely misguiding myself? I believe I am headed somewhere, I just have no idea where. Guess we’ll find out together.

I always want what i cant have...

2007-04-06T15:36:00.000-05:00

Nuf' Said..

MMM......... dammit!

SuperWOMAN Returns

2007-04-06T09:42:00.000-05:00

This has been a crazy couple of weeks guys! I have been trying to get back here, but something always came up.

Updates:

1.The Red Heifer ~ Two days after I left she puts in her resignation also. Says to Tracie and the gang that she feels she would be better off somewhere else. What I want to know is why it took her so long to figure that one out. If she had made that decision a couple of weeks earlier, then I may have re-thought my decision to leave. But its only superficial. Truth is 'Momma' kept the bitch on the payroll, and she is still terrorizing Tracie.

2.Tracie and Big Momma ~ Tracie emailed Big Momma and told her about herself and her heifer daughter. This was priceless. One of those that you want to print and frame. The end result was a meeting with Tracie and Big Momma where Tracie was told that the problem was not Heifer but Tracie and her attitude! Yea, OK. Needless to say, Tracie is now searching for another place of occupation. I feel for her. She is forced to labor in an environment of contention, and given my current situation, i understand her frustration.

3.My new job ~ Picture being a high paid alien. You land on a planet inhibited by folks who have been shunned and ignored by their leader. Accomplishments unrecognized and unrewarded. Salaries that do not equal the amount of personal sacrifice expended. Now, all of the people on the planet are aware of your compensation level, because the leader painted it on the side of your spaceship and announced your arrival so that everyone was prepped to point and stare. (anyone gettin the picture?) So, this is fun. I have one friend here, and he is put in an odd position, because of this. I sincerely do not want him to be labeled as a traitor. He, like me, has an extremely strong personality, and we are in the process of negotiating the terms of our friendship.

4. My thoughts ~ I am an emotional wreck. I need peace or at the least a drug induced calm. I cannot get either. I honestly just need a hug! The "old man" is not providing any sort of comfort, as usual, if its not about him its not important. My buddy Jody is going through personal crisis and I cannot burden him with my problems. And just like always, I can't talk to my mom because I can't stand the thought of her worrying about me. So I just tell her that everything is wonderful, marvelous, and spectacular...then go cry in the bathroom.

5. So now what? ~ Well this I know... I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED never have been, and never will be. This is one bitch that will conquer all! I have my pride and my beautifully shaped ass, I will make it! (attempt at forced humor)

But for the most part, I am pleased with my decision. Life is never easy. There will always be challenges, but the pack leader always pulls to the front! I'll be back on top and ridin the hell outta this bull in due time!

(more later)

Copper

The return is near!

2007-04-04T14:14:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!

Cant believe I have not been forgotten yet! I will be back full force by the end of the week. I just don't have my laptop at me new office yet. Things are going well. I made $300 on my Yard Sale! I really miss you guys!!

I will be back soon, and with juicy details too!!!

Copper

Back in two weeks, I'll miss you!

2007-03-19T13:22:00.000-05:00

I feel like you all are my friends. There are a few of you that I "comment" to almost daily. You know who you are. I want each of you to know that in the short time that I have been doing this, I have felt as if there are, at least a few, people that find me interesting. I enjoy reading each of your new posts and will have a lot of catching up and commenting to do when I return.

Don't fear that now that I have exorcised my life of the Lil' Heifer, that I will no longer have fuel for my blog! One thing I can promise you is that my life, no matter where or how I live it, will be interesting.

The only constant is change.

I really will miss you guys. I'll be back soon. Take care and be blessed!

Copper

The reply to my resignation

2007-03-19T08:20:00.000-05:00

I want everyone to know that I did decide to go the professional route with my resignation letter. Basically it says this:

XXXX,

I apologize for the informal nature of this, but I felt it was the best way to reach you. I am submitting my resignation from XXXXXX. I feel that it is best for everyone involved and I have accepted a position elsewhere. Please find attached a copy of my actual resignation letter. I will also place resignations from each of the advisory boards in your box. I will be active here until March 26th. I will accept my PDO time paid out and added to my final payroll check.

I will be more than happy to assist you in re-assignment of my duties, if requested. I wish you many blessings and prosperity in the future.

Copper Stiletto

Her response was:

No Problem.

Nothing less nothing more!

I was stunned to say the least. This was Friday afternoon. I had Tracie to check my email on Saturday and was rewarded with this. But here is the BEST PART:

I get here and am told that I need not work out my notice. Leave at the end of the day today and do not return. Clean out your desk, get your shit and get out. This don't really bother me except for two issues:

1. I am missing a weeks worth of pay. This equals bills being pressed to hard dates. I now must have a rummage/garage sale.

2. I will be away from a wireless "hot spot" for approximately 2 weeks. I may be able to squeeze a few posts in here and there, but PLEASE DON"T FORGET ABOUT ME while I am gone.

I don't want to loose my readers, because I will be back.

More later today, but "forget me not"

I'll take that!

2007-03-19T07:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, everybody sitting down? Guess what? I came in 2nd in Aussiejourno's Blog Awards.

I am so excited! Impressed! Thrilled! At a loss for words... But I promise it won't last long!

FEATURED ART!

2007-03-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

I want to introduce you to a very talented blogger :http://chewy-myblog.blogspot.com/ AKA chewy. Please click the link above or go to my hit list and click her blog: The back of my headboard. After reading my rantings about Lil'Heifer, chewy has made an awesome rendition of my lil'heifer, shes even RED too!! I was so impressed, both that someone found me inspirational and at the artwork itself, that asked chewy if I could feature her here. So here you go folks The Buckin Lil'Heifer in all her glory, go ahead, bask in it!!!!

(LOVE the title!)

Pucker up and...

2007-03-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

I have given her ample opportunity to express her sincere apology for all the shit that I have put up with from her daughter, or better yet make Lil' heifer apologize herself! But that isn't gonna happen.

I am debating on sending the original draft of my resignation letter or revising it to continue the professional aura that I try to carry.

I can see benefits to both avenues. But I fear that if I take the path of least conflict, I will look back upon it and wish I had taken my moment of "evil satisfaction" in pissing her off! I was followed today, by the way, by the father (guess this really is a family affair)

to quote eminem "crazy/insane or insane/crazy"

either way, they can KISS MY ASS!!

Bad Moon Rising

2007-03-14T11:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the shit hit the fan.

Here are the highlights.

Tracie nearly beat the daylights out of "Lil Heifer"

Lil' Heifer was kicked out and her desk cleaned out

Many people shouted

The intended people cried

I was given the opportunity to express to Lil' Heifer EXACTLY what was on my mind

She admitted "watch-dogging" me and reporting insignificant things to her mommy

When prompted, she could give no reason why.

Now the outcome:

I have YET to receive an apology from 'the boss' for her and her daughter's actions, but have received word that she "desperately wants me to stay with the company" I feel that if she wants me that badly, she should feel compelled to contact me in some way. She has my mobile, both e-mails, the office number~everything that she would need to reach me. But still nothing. Hell, she could even text message me for all I care.

BUT I WILL NOT ACCEPT A FORCED APPOLOGY!!

I have received an offer from another corporation in this area that is almost too good to pass up.

She has till the end of business today to approach me in some way, or I will get ghost on her ass real quick!

Stay tuned for updates

A really bad day!

2007-03-13T12:34:00.000-05:00

COLBERT, Okla. - A woman looking for a cocaine dealer called a number on her son's cell phone — only to discover she had phoned a police officer, authorities said.

Durant police Lt. Mike Woodruff said the 42-year-old woman called him by accident. His number was on her son's cell phone because he had been arrested previously on drug charges.
"She was looking through her son's cell phone directory and found my number," Woodruff said. "Her son had told her that if she ever needed help with anything to give me a call. I think she misunderstood.
"She thought she was talking to a drug dealer."
Woodruff said he played along and set up a meeting between her and an undercover officer. She and an alleged accomplice were arrested on a drug complaint.

Maybe she will pay more attention to her children next time!!

Do you think she would be mad?

2007-03-12T09:32:00.000-05:00

Dear XX XXXX:
Please accept my resignation as Director of Business Development and Quality Coordinator, effective Monday, March 26th.

I feel very fortunate to have been associated with XXXXXX for the last year. My experiences and training have been invaluable, and I leave with many pleasant memories of Tracie, Deborah, Bonita and Tara. I also have take with me, many nightmares and headaches, most of which are attributed to the introduction of your daughter into the office dynamic.

For many months, we labored as a team to get XX operational while maintaining the integrity of XXX. The team effort worked beautifully. I feel that we made many accomplishments and were working towards excellence. I feel that my personal accomplishments went either unnoticed or unrewarded. The focus was changed from “what is she accomplishing” to “what can I catch her doing wrong.” I cannot work under these conditions and feel deeply concerned for those that I am leaving behind, for it is also unfair to them.

In the future, your business will prosper and grow much quicker, if you will consider the persons upon whom the future of your agency rests. Decisions should be made concerning employing untrained and unorganized family members, with the integrity of the business as your focus.

Sincerely,

Copper Stiletto

Man burns genitals in 'Jackass' stunt

2007-03-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

Man burns genitals in 'Jackass' stunt:
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
EAU CLAIRE, Wis. -- Attempts to do a movie stunt landed one man in the hospital with burned genitals and another facing criminal charges. The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the 'Jackass' movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire.
Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals, according to the criminal complaint. Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment Tuesday in Eau Claire County Court.
Witnesses told police that Anderson, who was drunk, volunteered to do the stunt Sunday after watching the movie, the complaint said.
According to the complaint:
Anderson pulled down his pants and let Peterson spray him with lighter fluid. When the fire didn't catch, Peterson sprayed more lighter fluid on Anderson, splashing some on his clothing. He tried again to light the fire, catching Anderson's genitals, hands and clothes.
Anderson ran into the bathroom, jumped into the tub and put the flames out. Other guests took him to Luther Hospital, and eventually he was treated at the Regions Hospital Burn Unit in St. Paul, Minn., for second-degree burns.

Anderson told police who were called to the hospital that he didn't want anyone to get in trouble because of the stunt.
Peterson was freed on a $2,000 signature bond. He has a hearing scheduled April 16. If convicted, he faces up to 10 years in prison.
---
Information from: Leader-Telegram, http://www.leadertelegram.com/"

Some people think that 'don't try this at home' is a joke. Guess this fella will spend a little more time sobering up before he agrees to some stupid suggestion next time. I think back to some the silly things that I have let myself do over the years. Most of which were during moments of inebriation.

Thought for the day:

An altered state of mind equals altered common sense.

This is not to say that an altered state is ALWAYS a bad idea, just remove noticeable risk factors before beginning if you run with a group of impressionable friends

~Peace

A Tale of Two Redheads........

2007-03-08T14:34:00.000-05:00

(Names have been changed to protect my job)

Ok so i work with this chick who was also given the blessing of having red hair. Now if you know a redhead then you know that we enjoy the attention that it brings and we seldom like to share the spotlight. So you can imagine my dismay when my new secretary turns out to be, not only the bosses daughter, but also a redhead. It was obvious, at this point, that this arrangement would prove to be a challenge. All went well for a few weeks. Training was conducted, orientation, the assignment of duties, etc. Until one morning I arrive at my office to find my door unlocked. I was puzzled. Did I forget to lock my office before I left the building last night? Surely not. I go inside and notice that there is a document on my desk that i swear i left in the bottom drawer. Upon further inspection, I see that there has been a change made to the document and that the file folder it was originally in is nowhere to be found. I pause to collect myself, and go to the front.

At this point I need to decide on a name for our friend. HMMMMM......... how bout lil'heifer?

So I approach lil'heifer's desk and ask about my file. It seems that she felt as if it would be safer in her little hands then locked in my office, and changing the document, well she was just trying to help me out, she says. So over the next few days, things of mine disappear, get moved etc. Keep in mind that this is the boss's daughter and there are only about 7 people who work in this department. So going to the boss is out of the question. So I attempt to extend the olive branch and make friends. A week later guess what I get for my effort:

1. transferred to a new department
2. demoted and stripped of my supervisory responsibilities
3. given a raise!

~~~~~ Now what kind of sense does that make?
Plenty if your enemy calls her mommy (your boss) and says she just cant work with you anymore and your boss has no reason to fire you and truly don't want to loose you as on employee cause you do your job and never call in or complain.
Funny huh?
Pray for me

Eye Candy

2007-03-07T15:59:00.000-05:00

This is just some things that I like. For one reason or another. Wanted to share them.

Notice the lack of faces.

It gives them a more surreal feel.

Can you tell that I am in a cryptic mood today?

Chocolate Therapy

2007-03-06T13:30:00.000-05:00

I love chocolate. Dark chocolate, not milk or white, but bittersweet dark chocolate is pure ecstasy.

The way it feels smooth and creamy, as it melts slowly in your mouth...............

So, I was so pleased to hear that the is some truth to all the rumors that dark chocolate is actually good for you.

It seems that the dark variety can lower your blood pressure and cholesterol, prevent diabetes, and ever help you de-stress.

There are now pure dark chocolate baths to be enjoyed. The antioxidants in 'dark' rid your skin of free radicals and also help to improve its overall elasticity.

So enjoy, as I am now, some dark chocolate and read some of your favorite blogs. Think of it as therapy and relax.

Watch your mail folks!

2007-03-05T10:05:00.001-05:00

Body parts delivered to Michigan home - Yahoo! News

CASCADE TOWNSHIP, Mich. - Two packages containing human body parts — including a liver and part of a head — meant for a medical research lab instead were delivered to a home.

The body parts, sent from China, were mistakenly dropped off Thursday at Franck and Ludivine Larmande's home by a DHL express driver who believed the bubble-wrapped items were pieces to a table.
"My husband started to unwrap one and said, 'This is strange, it looks like a liver,'" Ludivine Larmande said. "He started the second one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear.
"Something wasn't right. It was scary, and I'm glad I didn't open them."
The couple called Kent County sheriff's deputies, who determined the preserved body parts were for medical research, Lt. Roger Parent said.

Authorities believe 28 more bubble-wrapped human organs and body parts could be dispersed across the country, The Grand Rapids Press reported. Two of five packages headed to the northern Michigan lab broke open, scattering their contents.
"There will definitely be a shock to people if they see these things, but there is no hazard to health," Parent said.
DHL is investigating whether it should have shipped the body parts and how the packages were dispersed, spokesman Robert Mints said.

Ok someone tell me this, if "Authorities" believe that there is 28 more body parts out there just floating around, what the hell are they doing to relocate them? If I had a family member to leave their body to science, I would be so trippin right now. "Who knows where uncle Jon's feet or pancreas is now, but hey, he always loved to travel" Seriously, does it not seem that there should be a way of tracking where the other 'parts' are. Funny how the authorities don't seem to be in much of a rush to find them. Guess they plan to just wait till some old lady has a heart attack when the FexEx truck pulls away.

Wow, just Wow.

I am so proud!!!

2007-03-05T09:12:00.000-05:00

http://david-mcmahon.blogspot.com/2007/03/aussiejournos-weekly-blog-awards.html

Yes I have done it! Don't ask me how but I have!! I have been listed on the Top 30 Blogs list!!

David McMahon hosts this list and chooses weekly. Thing is, you don't have to be huge to win. So go and nominate your favorite blogs, nominate me again if you really like me, but either way, check it out! I was so impressed!

What to write?

2007-03-01T15:04:00.000-05:00

Do you ever sit and think, what am I gonna write about today? I am rarely at a loss for words but today I am. It has been an exhausting week. Work has been murder, meetings, presentations, employees walking off the job. (don't let me get started on some peoples' work ethics) I am just really over it all! And today is just Thursday, so I have all day to get through tomorrow without seriously injuring someone in this office!!!! I need a vacation and a cigarette. Not in that order!

I would also like a nice stiff drink. In fact......... In approx 1.5 hours, I will be having just that.

Today is a dear friend of mine's birthday. I think we are gonna take him out to dinner and chill at my house tonight. He lives about 2 cities east of here, so he may end up crashing on the couch, but he don't know it yet.

I have no real topic today to try to match a picture to, so today you are just gonna get a few that I seem to connect with, or that interest me for some reason or another. Hope every one has a safe night.

Granny finds grenade in groceries - Yahoo! News

2007-03-01T14:52:00.000-05:00

Granny finds grenade in groceries - Yahoo! News

This is just amazing. I truly do not understand how this passed inspection. AND (see how my mind works) what about the actual monetary value of the grenade? Being that old, I am certain that there is a collector that would have paid alot of money for that thing, but alas, it has been detonated, says the report. E-bay would have had a field day!!!

Thong vs. granny panty, a comparison

2007-02-26T15:23:00.000-05:00

While the thong has been popular among exotic dancers for awhile, here, fashion historians say the thong—which has been wildly popular for decades in Brazil—was slow to catch on in the U.S. South Americans have had the thong swimsuits for years and that is what drove men insane there. The tourists would come and buy and wear it down there because they couldn't wear them in the U.S.

The breakdown:

A Thong provides more back coverage, with a wide v shaped strip of fabric attached to the center piece that is usually one-half-inch to one-inch thick.

A G-string is actually very stringlike, offering the bare minimum in the way of fabric on your behind and across your back.

A T-Back is made as a thong but has a T shaped back, perfect for wearing with low rise jeans

Granny Panties are anything that leaves those horrifying panty lines on the ass of your adorable Apple Bottom jeans or feminine cut business suit!

Personally, I can't deal with the last one. I'd rather pull a 'britney' and go free!!

Guess sex does sell

2007-02-26T12:56:00.000-05:00

French sex Web site seeks to charm investors - Yahoo! News (link)

I just think that this is funny, had to add it.
A sexual awakening is most definitely due in America, but I always considered France to be a bit more advanced in the realm of sexual acceptance.

I would love to be in on the first introduction of something like this in the states.

If everyone would participate in the sex toy revolution, we would need alot less Valium and therapy!!

!!! BUY BRITNEYS HAIR !!!

2007-02-22T12:10:00.000-05:00

!!! BUY BRITNEYS HAIR !!!

I have been avoiding this topic. I truly did not want to bring more attention to this situation than the media already has. I wonder what made her do it? Maybe she was jealous of all the attention that the untimely passing of Anna Nicole has generated. I would hope that she would not be that sick and twisted.

These people are really going to make some bank on from this!! I believe that this is her actual hair. What I can't believe is that she needed attention this bad.

I have nothing more to say about this childish act, I just see it as a blessing to the salon owners. Funny how you really can get rich quick!

You can buy me and take me home....(cheap sex)

2007-02-21T09:27:00.000-05:00

Today I am ranting. Sorry. Ok here is the source of my irritation. Yesterday I went searching through the pages of a popular site. It seems that the disease of Sexual Self Advertising has infected much of the net these days like it infested MySpace. That was the reason that i left MySpace. Now let me further explain the details of my rant. I am an open minded person. Extremely open minded. In my few years on earth I have seen many things and had many experiences, some of which may even rival the morals of Biblical Jezebel herself, and I have no problems with others celebrating their choice in alternative lifestyles. What confuses me though are these women, no "girls" is more an appropriate descriptor, that openly flaunt themselves for attention. Some are very sexy females, some are not so appealing......... but appeal or no, why give it away!!??

What happened to that 'sensual mystery'? There are no secrets anymore. Now please do not get me wrong. I am in NO WAY a prude, nor am I ashamed of my body or my sexuality. I enjoy a nice thick one the same as any other straight woman, or gay man, (whatever your preference) BUT, and this I promise you folks, the day WILL NOT come where I feel the need or desire to post nude PUBLIC pictures in order to draw attention to myself. If you have such pictures, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, what there is something wrong with is allowing anyone who clicks your name to know if its time for another bikini wax job, and if you prefer the Classic or the Brazilian. Save these images for members of your inner circle. Not just anyone.

The problem here is that these young women are seriously, whether they admit it or not, looking for acceptance, inclusion and quite possibly love and affection. What they receive for their efforts are a few comments about how sexy they are, and in reality are being made a mockery of. Most of their adoring fans are running the same lines over and over again to other women. Its the same old story ~ players only love you when their playin ~ Some of these ladies have a rude awakening coming. They are building themselves up for a huge let down when they realize that they've been classically used and abused, then traded in for the next best pic.

Never leave home without a thong, and other common fashion mistakes

2007-02-20T14:09:00.000-05:00

Anyone can present a stylish fashionable look, as well as anyone can make mistakes, but some fashion mistakes are just unforgivable. Are you in danger of being a fashion victim? Here is a list of 14 tips how to avoid fashion faux pas that are common for women, even for those who are ‘professional’ fashionistas.

1.Do not wear colors that don’t match your skin tone. Wearing the wrong colors will make you look pale and will accentuate your wrinkles. On the other side, your colors will give you a healthier and joyful look.

2.Do not wear fabrics that don’t match.For example winter fabrics tend to be heavier, denser and rougher, while summer fabrics are mostly made of natural fibers, single-layered and airy.They rarely match so, do a selection so you avoid accidents.

3.Do not let your bra and panty lines show. Always wear proper fitting underwear under your exact size clothing to avoid showing the lines. I say never leave home without a thong!

4.Do not get too comfortable with definite clothes. Is more important to dress appropriately for the occasion, than feeling good in your favorite pear of jeans. Don’t fall in love with your accessories.They’re only meant to spice up your wardrobe.The latest styles in handbags, shoes and jewels will bring your look into the current season.

5.Do not wear to much bling (especially if you wear it in areas that you don’t necessarily want to highlight-like a beaded chest sweater for a busty gal). A little goes a long way!

6.Do not buy clothes that don’t fit hoping you’ll loose weight or jackets with sleeves way below the wrist bone.Trust me, you’ll loose your interest quickly after.So, you better not buy them in the first place.(Unless you know how to adjust it yourself).

7.Do not mish-mash your wardrobe. Buying odds and ends on sale really helps you save money, but it may as well kill your personal style. Having a lot of different unmatchable stuff in your closet won’t make you a fashionista (I don’t mean to imply that buying on sale is always a mistake).

8.Do not overdose on a single fabric. Head-to-toe denim or velvet, for example, are ridiculous.
Do not get rid of your most flattering clothing cuts that is best suited to your body shape, when you decide to change your look.

9.Do not wear to much make-up. Makeup overdose creates an aggressive look and accentuates your lines.Try to come up with at least 2 personal makeup styles: a light and simple one for daytime and a bolder one for the evening.

10.Do not wear chipped nails. If you cannot afford a manicure, do it yourself.

11.Don’t wear an outdated hairstyle. Your hairstyle can be a information source for people about your age, social status, education and so on. All these are instinctive presumptions (not necessarily accurate).Visit your hairdresser on regular bases so you can notice if he/she has gotten you stuck in typical haircuts. Change your hairstylist if necessary.

12.Don’t wear mismatched shoes. Your shoes must match with your look and your outfit.
Don’t wear nylons that don’t match your shoes, pants or skirt. Do not wear nylons with sandals (if you’re not comfortable doing that try to find a super sheer, nude color, so it will look like you’re not wearing any).

I'm supposed to wear what?

2007-02-19T12:27:00.000-05:00

News Bizarre - weird, wacky, crazy news and photos Chron.com - Houston Chronicle

I admit it, I am a slave to fashion. The new 4inch peep-toe black patent, on every ones feet, stilettos came out, what did I do? Run straight out and by not only the must have black pair but a lipstick red pair too. I love the new sweater coats that are on all the models' this winter, but I have to say that once I viewed this collection of frocks and lace, I had to get a real grip on myself and fashion reality.

I have for many years attempted to stay as close to the cutting edge of fashion as my purse and geographical location would allow me. (Some things are just too pricey, or a little risque for here) I have bought fashion magazines, watched trendy television shows regularly and just stayed on top in general. I was even willing to splurge for the couture' styles when I could find them.

But I know realize that there are some designs that are never meant to leave the runway.

I have pasted a couple of my favorite "what is that???" designs and please click the link above to see more of what I am talking about

Porn star seeks fame with clothes on - Yahoo! News

2007-02-19T08:46:00.000-05:00

Porn star seeks fame with clothes on - Yahoo! News

Has anyone read this? It seems that good ole Ron Jeremy wants to be a REAL actor now. I guess after sleeping with almost every porn chick from brazillian to bushy, he's bored with the "daily grind" and ready to move on to something else!

Well good luck Jeremy, but I have to say that I say you in BOONDOCK SAINTS this weekend and you look a little strange with your clothes on!!

Inspiration for today.......

2007-02-16T15:40:00.000-05:00

In honor of Black History Month, here are some inspiring quotes from Martin Luther King Jr.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

We have guided missiles and misguided men.

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now.

Foot Fetish?

2007-02-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

I want someone to see this! I am slightly trippin! I checked my e-mail this morning and found this:

From: XXXX_XX
Subject: shoe "chat"?
Message: Hi!!Saw your response to the shoe dangling question, and would love to talk more about it with you if you're interested? Please email me either way at XXXX_XXXX@XXXXX.com...thanks!!

Now to put this into context, you need to know the background information. I occasionally participate in a forum where users ask just about any type of question and then other users try to answer with their best. So a few months ago I answered this silly little question, and thought it was over . So all of the sudden I get the above message. Here is the question:

Do you dangle your shoes?
Girls: When you are sitting with your legs crossed, do you ever let the heel of your shoes slip off and dangle your shoe on the end of your toes? Does your shoe ever fall off while doing this? It's sexy when a girl does this

And my answer:

Yea it happens, but usually by accident, or if i am irritated i might make the backs bounce with my foot, slides are notorious for it. cute question.

So what is the deal with this guy? Does he want to suck my toes?
HMMMM, too bad its a freaky stranger ;)

Holy Matri- what the hell?

2007-02-13T11:49:00.000-05:00

OK an odd ranting today. Just got off the phone with a male friend that has been very close to me for years now......... or rather, I was laboring under the delusions that he was. We talk about 3 times a week and have a great time. I have never met someone that makes me laugh like he does. We have engaged in some sexual play on occasion, but he has always been with this female, ever since we met, and he has a child with her. Well, see Mr. X and I had always joked that we would be perfect together, both knowing that it was not going ever materialize, so we were content being basically friends.

So last night I had another close friend to come by. As we were talking she says, "So what do you think about XXXXX and XXXXXXX getting engaged, is he excited?" Oh course I play it off like I already knew, but inside I'm like what the hell? I just talked to him yesterday, and many times since Christmas which is when he popped the big question.

So now I have the conundrum of deciding how to approach this. I am happy for him and truly wish the very best for their future, I just feel like he should have told me by now. Not let me find out by second party, 2 months later! I don't have many friends in this world at all and now I feel as if I was never a true friend, just another bitch to try to stick it to, before the Big Day!!

I am stunned, confused and even more lonely than before................Pray for me

Copper

Eternal Embrace

2007-02-12T13:39:00.000-05:00

I was strangely touched by this way that these two truly cared for each other. It makes me wonder what the circumstances of their death was. I can only pray for a man to love me this deeply. (5000 year old archaeological find pic via AP)

“Find a man who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the man who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.”

“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

“No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities.”

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.”

You can be lonely, even if you are not alone

2007-02-12T09:29:00.000-05:00

Blue, that's my Valentine's Day color. Guess everyone has complaints, guess I should feel lucky to have a man to spend that day with. A man that wants to marry me even. But what if I don't want to marry him? What if I have known for at least a year now that its so completely over, that I am wasting my time. That while I am wasting my time, what if my prince gets tired of waiting for me and settles for someone else? Sounds like I should just move on, huh? After 6 years, it difficult. But I KNOW that he is not the right one for me. I can feel it. I am sick to death of being mentally and occasionally physically abused.

Oh now he's never broken any bones or left bruises where clothing would not cover, he's too smart for that. But I can handle the physical, I am a wildcat when need be, and I will go to blows with him when necessary, but he's a wrestler by nature and if he gets me off my feet is over, I don't have the body weight to overpower him. So whatever, bruises will eventually fade.

Its the mental scars that wont..............

Bitch, cunt, whore, slut. You disgust me, you make me miserable. Fuck you, you ain't shit. Get the fuck outta my face or I'll choke you you fuckin white whore. This is daily. Of, course he apologizes, but so what.

Oh and simply for background information, I am the Administrator of a corporation that I single handed built from a blank paper, with only financial support from the owner. I used to be a model, before I became a mother (but don't get it twisted, i'm still bangin) And I pay ALL the bills, he doesn't have a job. AND during our relationship he chose to sleep with his friend and now has a baby by her. Sweet huh?

I met a man during the course of this ill fated relationship.He's a true devoted Christian man. He is smooth and hard all at the same time. His skin is so dark and rich, like I could lick every inch ad not be satisfied. I want him for my own, but I will probably never be able to make that claim. I have looked all over the net to see if he has a blog (not a stalker, just curious, I like voyeurism)

But he is still experiencing life, and a spirit like his could never be tied down against its will. It would be unnatural.

I just long so badly for that type of man. Someone to nurture me, a strong sexy black man who wants me for who and what I am. I no longer wish to be taken advantage of. I think that its sick that alot of interraial relationships consist of the white girl being used and abused. I personally know many couples that are of mixed race and each person is respected and cherished by their mate. Thats what I want!!!

I can only hope that it comes to me before its too late!!

Rest in Peace Anna Nicole

2007-02-09T12:53:00.001-05:00

Sexy and Strong! An inspiration to single mothers! It pains me to think of her beautiful daughter and how Howard K must be feeling.........

She was hated and ridiculed, joked about and impersonated. She married for love and was mistreated for it. And yes i said LOVE, that old man treated her with respect, doted upon her, protected her and made her feel special. Not just as "just another dancer". And by the way, for anyone who even shapes their mouth to say anything about exotic dancers, you don't know shit if you think that any single mom would let their child starve when their was something that could be done about it!! So lay off. Oh, and for everyone who says that she was an addict. Well tell me someone who can wake up in the bed next to her dead son, three days after having a baby, and not take drugs, either legal or illegal.

So I am sad today. I am sad for all her critics because they will never understand how truly unique she was. She perservered through it all, and her untimely death will only serve to immoralize her........... Something that she deserves. I am sad because i fear that her daughter will be raised by people who will not teach her about the person that her mother truly was and that up until the last few days of her life, she fought to stop a paternity test that might, and probably will now, change the childs life forever.

I miss you Anna Nicole, and the world will never be the same