I slept in it even though we had been driving all night. It smelled like him. I was wrapped in him and was surrounded by his scent. Even though his arms were around me once again, it made me feel more than close to him. It made me feel that I was in the most natural place I could be. Like I belonged in his arms with my head on his chest. I did not mean to put it in my bag when we got up later to shower. Or maybe, subconsciously, i did.
It was not until i was home unpacking that I realized i still had it. I washed it.Then after in internal struggle with myself, I wore it one more night, this time in my bed. Its as close to he may ever come to being there with me. I could still smell him faintly. I relished the comfort it provided.
I felt a little guilty as i placed it in the washing machine a second time. I should not have done that. But even though I sent him a link here, he has never visited. I wonder now what he would think if he knew. Most likely that I am crazy. But I am actually just lonely. He wore it today. I wanted reach out and touch him. I wanted to feel the material in my hands again. Of course I said nothing, did nothing. I felt a sense longing. Whats new?
Copper
