Friday, April 13, 2007

HOT SEX?


I love to lay in tanning beds. I know that there are many risks involved, but nothing is good for you in excess. So last night, I set out after work to have my body baked for 20 minutes. I typically go to one of the local tanning parlors. Its a nice atmosphere. Palm trees painted on the walls. The smell of coconut and Pine-Sol fill the air in a sweet and sour mix that is somehow comforting. When I tan here its a refreshing experience. The cost per visit is around $4.50. I have always felt that it is worth it, a small price to pay for relaxation and the added benefit of glowing skin.


When I arrived at my usual spot, I was alarmed at the amount of cars in the parking lot. The place does not make appointments, first come first serve. I walk in, look around and my spirits drop. There are 9 people in the waiting room. This is a 5 bed facility and all are currently occupied. I inquire about my wait time: "It'll be 'bout 45 minutes, hon. Just take a seat." I'm not feelin it. I get in my car to leave. Dammit, now what? In was really looking forward to that. Then I remembered a conversation that I had with a friend of a friend:


HER: Ooh, I love your tan. Where do you go?

ME: Electric Sun, I like it there. Have you ever been?

HER: Well yea. A long time ago, but I got sick of paying all that money when I can go to the BP Gas Station and tan for $2.

ME: Are the beds the same? Do they work as well?

HER: Oh yea, their the exact same beds. Its the only place I will go.


So here I am, thinking about this. What do I have to loose? At least I will get to tan. So I pull up and park at the gas station. This feels a little weird. I go up the the counter and ask the lady about the tanning beds. She smells of cheese doodles and coffee. This should have been a warning sign. I pay the lady her two bucks and am lead behind a set of beer coolers two bed #2 of 3 possible beds. I go in.


The floor is the old plastic tile and most are popping up and peeling. There is a fan in the corner that has about an inch of dust on the blades and long hairs of all colors, that have been sucked in, are blowing out towards me. I tentatively begin to dis-robe. Carefully placing my clothes in the lawn chair that has been provided. For my "comfort" I presume. I'd have to be out of my mind to allow my ass to touch this chair! I now notice the bed itself. The bottom half looks decent. The stickers are peeling from the sides, and there are tiny cracks along the edges of the plexiglass bottom. But still usable, i guess.


Then i raise the top. I swear this is no joke:


THERE IS A USED CONDOM STUCK BETWEEN THE PLEXIGLASS TOP AND THE TANNING BULBS!!


I gagged!! It couldn't have been there long. It was not melted, I guess latex would melt under those conditions, never tried.


How did this get there? Why was it left? As a joke? (not funny) Accidental? (no way) So needless to say, I re-dress. I don't even stop by the counter to ask for my money back or report the situation. (Which I should have done, and now feel a bit guilty about)


Guess you get what you pay for!

Copper

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't read you during work hours any more. I'll give myself away by laughing out loud.

Doug said...

Hi Copper,
Used condom at the tanning salon?
Gives new meaning to waiting room
conversation..So you come here
often?

Cheers,
Doug

Ak-Man said...

LOL!!!

Only real ife is this funny...and of course comedy designed to imitate real life!

Hmmmm . . . I wonder how else you could have wasted $2

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Arrgghhh... what a graphic picture to hit the sack with! (Try spray tan, safer, in more ways than one.)

copper stiletto said...

Chewy, please dont get fired!
Doug, You can bet I will look at everyone I see going in there oddly now!
Ak~ your right, i could have found much better ways to waste my cash
SWS~ evidently you can catch ANYTHING, ANYWHERE these days!!

Thanks for your support everyone, I don't know how Id make it through life without ya,

Copper