Street 101
Funny how many jobs require a degree in order to even get an interview. Your degree does not even have to be in a relevant field. You could major in journalism, and apply for a position in a human services field. It wouldn’t matter, you would at least pull a meeting. But if you did not finish and actually earn a degree, you are left with a possible “experience in lieu of degree” interview. Would it not be wonderful if all of the life experiences that you have had could be rolled over into college credit? With that said I present to you:
Copper Street University
Offering the following courses:
Hood Rat-ology
In this course you will learn how to classify all the females that you will encounter in life. We will cover bitches and hoes, strawberries and heads. You will see, first hand, who can be detrimental to your lifestyle and who you can use to make a come-up. Ladies, you especially want to takes this class so you can learn who your real girls are and if you learn nothing else in this class, you will know that you CAN’T TRUST BITCHES.
Side Hustle 101
Here you will learn that anything can be bought or sold. You just have to find the right person and price. You CAN make money and SHOULD make money. If you see a good deal, take it. There will always be someone to push it off on down the road.
Project Carpentry
This is one I’ve learned and regularly put into use. You can fix anything. Believe that. Look around. That hole in the drywall, hang a picture over it. The drawer in the kitchen that won’t slide right? Just jerk that thing out and let the kids play with it on the stoop, you don’t have to deal with it then. See how easy this is? The best thing is once you master carpentry, you automatically know Project Electronics. Batteries get low ~ toss ‘em in the freezer, they will work again. Can’t get the local channel on the TV? Wrap the “rabbit ear antennas” with tin foil. Perfect clarity as long as you stand to the left of the couch and the microwave door is left partially open.
Street Vocab
What do they mean sellin “cookies?” or “chicken?” Straight drop what? Who’s a head? How many “cousins” can one man have? Why would you toss a perfectly good pair of sneakers way up there? And other questions that you may have asked yourself. I had a great professor lined up to teach this class, he majored in Ghetto Pharmaceuticals, but he is currently unavailable. So this class will have to be put on hold for 5 to 10, but at 30% with good time…. Uh we better just hold off on this one.
Copper
Funny how many jobs require a degree in order to even get an interview. Your degree does not even have to be in a relevant field. You could major in journalism, and apply for a position in a human services field. It wouldn’t matter, you would at least pull a meeting. But if you did not finish and actually earn a degree, you are left with a possible “experience in lieu of degree” interview. Would it not be wonderful if all of the life experiences that you have had could be rolled over into college credit? With that said I present to you:
Copper Street University
Offering the following courses:
Hood Rat-ology
In this course you will learn how to classify all the females that you will encounter in life. We will cover bitches and hoes, strawberries and heads. You will see, first hand, who can be detrimental to your lifestyle and who you can use to make a come-up. Ladies, you especially want to takes this class so you can learn who your real girls are and if you learn nothing else in this class, you will know that you CAN’T TRUST BITCHES.
Side Hustle 101
Here you will learn that anything can be bought or sold. You just have to find the right person and price. You CAN make money and SHOULD make money. If you see a good deal, take it. There will always be someone to push it off on down the road.
Project Carpentry
This is one I’ve learned and regularly put into use. You can fix anything. Believe that. Look around. That hole in the drywall, hang a picture over it. The drawer in the kitchen that won’t slide right? Just jerk that thing out and let the kids play with it on the stoop, you don’t have to deal with it then. See how easy this is? The best thing is once you master carpentry, you automatically know Project Electronics. Batteries get low ~ toss ‘em in the freezer, they will work again. Can’t get the local channel on the TV? Wrap the “rabbit ear antennas” with tin foil. Perfect clarity as long as you stand to the left of the couch and the microwave door is left partially open.
Street Vocab
What do they mean sellin “cookies?” or “chicken?” Straight drop what? Who’s a head? How many “cousins” can one man have? Why would you toss a perfectly good pair of sneakers way up there? And other questions that you may have asked yourself. I had a great professor lined up to teach this class, he majored in Ghetto Pharmaceuticals, but he is currently unavailable. So this class will have to be put on hold for 5 to 10, but at 30% with good time…. Uh we better just hold off on this one.
Copper
7 comments:
LOL! LOL! LOL! SCREAM!
Whew!
Your style is fresh, I love it! Please link to me! I'd like to do the same.
I'd like to study the street vocab, but I'm a bit too old. Even the word 'sellin gives me shivers and could require hours of studying.
Deb
G'day Copper,
You have zing! It's always good to read your stuff.
I do like the headline, too.
You also have the rare distinction of staying on Aussiejourno's Weekly Blog Awards for the two weeks when you were away.
That's a big compliment.
Look after yourself and good luck with the big return.
David
Interesting! Better than anything I learnt in university half of which I have forgotten or really don't care about.
You now, I put my degree on my CV but have NEVER been asked to provide proof...
LOL at Lady T! I should say that my degree is a First, they'll never ask!
Copper, sign me up for Project Capentry! Everytime stuff breaks I just get out the duck tape! It's not a good look!
And if i dont duck tape it, it just ends up more broke or in the trash!
I aint making enough money to be throwin stuff away so i guess i need the hustle course too.
Jeez, I've learnt so much already, I can't wait to sign up (sadly, I'm not joking), can you really squeeze more juice out batteries, if you freeze them??
Respect.
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