Action to Reaction

If I was to get philosophical for a moment, would you bare with me? I am in an odd place today. Almost as if I were outside, looking in on myself and, well life, in general. I wonder what makes people do the things that they do. Obviously, and all you psych majors out there can correct me if I have forgotten some key element here, everything the we do is seeking a reaction of some sort. Whether good or bad, still we are seeking a reaction. The way that we dress, speak, look at others, etc. All seeking reactions. Sometimes we do things just to annoy or anger someone, we even seek revenge in certain situations.

Reactions… so what reactions am I seeking? I want my children to become strong Christian adults, with will to succeed. I want my dog to be bigger and stronger than all the others on the block. I want my car to smell like Blunt Power every day of the week. www.bluntpower.com, for all those curious. When I get dressed each day, I am seeking the reaction of “damn that is one tough bitch”! I suppose that if I had to make a list of wants and needs and then balance them with my actions, I would find that I am focused on myself most often. I like to be the center of attention. I enjoy competition with other females. I assume that stems from my Beauty Queen days, but I thrive on it, none the less.

But that’s all small scale. What about the big picture? What are my large ticket ‘items of life’? I am doing this on the fly, but let me try to wrap my mind around this:

Copper’s List of “Life Items Needed”

A house of my own, in my name only, using only my credit. DONE
A job where I feel valued and the compensation is enough to get me out of this living month to month rut. IN PROGRESS
A car that does not screech when I start it in cold weather and the A/C works. Guess this one will have to wait, due to the fulfillment of #1. NOT YET
A man who will respect me for who I am and love me, including all of my flaws, unconditionally. This man will also have to have an unfaltering commitment to me, and me only. This is probably the most far fetched item on the list, due to the fact that I am unsure that this person even exists. I suppose that it is possible, I may have even met this person on the street and maybe spoken a kind word or friendly hello. But how do I ever find my way back to him? This one will have to be left up to God to orchestrate. Heaven knows I’ve had no luck on my own! NOT YET/(even possible?)
My children to not deposit me in a Nursing Home in my old age. I am attempting to combat this one by giving them all the love, attention and affection as possible, in hopes that I will receive the same care when Alzheimer’s kicks in. IN PROGRESS

So are my actions actually seeking my desired reactions? Or am I completely misguiding myself? I believe I am headed somewhere, I just have no idea where. Guess we’ll find out together.